Hee Hee Insane Clown Porn
So, here is a site which is linking a couple of galleries of Gothic Sluts and Barely Evil stuff and a whole passle more entertainment. It is insaneclownporn.com. Hee hee.
Friday, January 30, 2004
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Happy Halloween
A mailing list I am on just sent out their holiday recommendations of what to do for Valentines Day. Only they put Halloween in the subject as the holiday. I assume by accident.
I still haven't finished my New Years resolutions, so I'm not really ready for another holiday. Only have a couple more days of the extension I gave myself. The only things I am sure of are work on rediscovering having some hobbies and some getting in better shape stuff. I am soooooooooo conflicted between artistic and spiritual resolve vs. financial and business.
And I'm sort of both happy and sad about some human relations things. I used to be searching so hard for a genuine peer group. But it seems like the people I should have the most in common with and be the most comfortable with are almost always antagonistic. Either they tend to be trying awfully hard to be me or they are tense that I will somehow usurp their position if they ever introduce me to a single person.
Prior to this fall, it was quite a while since I was really sociable. It has mostly been fun, but I guess I had forgotten how much wistful pain is involved in interacting with other human beings. Sometimes everything is a blast. Sometimes there is the sense of really connecting with someone else. I think there is a basic primal human need to connect from time to time.
But sometimes, in the middle of everything, and sometimes, after it all, I have this sense of loneliness I can't quite put my finger on. And if I could figure out WTF that odd feeling in the pit of my gut is, then I could finally finish my resolutions for 2004.
A mailing list I am on just sent out their holiday recommendations of what to do for Valentines Day. Only they put Halloween in the subject as the holiday. I assume by accident.
I still haven't finished my New Years resolutions, so I'm not really ready for another holiday. Only have a couple more days of the extension I gave myself. The only things I am sure of are work on rediscovering having some hobbies and some getting in better shape stuff. I am soooooooooo conflicted between artistic and spiritual resolve vs. financial and business.
And I'm sort of both happy and sad about some human relations things. I used to be searching so hard for a genuine peer group. But it seems like the people I should have the most in common with and be the most comfortable with are almost always antagonistic. Either they tend to be trying awfully hard to be me or they are tense that I will somehow usurp their position if they ever introduce me to a single person.
Prior to this fall, it was quite a while since I was really sociable. It has mostly been fun, but I guess I had forgotten how much wistful pain is involved in interacting with other human beings. Sometimes everything is a blast. Sometimes there is the sense of really connecting with someone else. I think there is a basic primal human need to connect from time to time.
But sometimes, in the middle of everything, and sometimes, after it all, I have this sense of loneliness I can't quite put my finger on. And if I could figure out WTF that odd feeling in the pit of my gut is, then I could finally finish my resolutions for 2004.
Rest of the bondage convention and adult video convention snaps or what I did on my Vegas vacation
Got the rest of my Vegas snapshots from the convention fest posted now at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/avnbondcon/index.html. The following pix are all from Saturday, which is at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/avnbondcon/saturday/index.html.
NOTE: AS ALWAYS WITH SNAPSHOTS OF MINE (NOT MY PRO PHOTOGRAPHY) ANYONE IN THESE PIX IS FREE TO REPOST THEM AT WILL. Please just leave the spookycash.com credit on there.
Ran into my friend Dave from New York who I haven't seen in ages, even though I think we live really close together now. Dave sometimes has a New York state of mind, but he had just won an award and was pretty chipper for him. He blew off the party, but I'm going to attempt to dig out his email and see if he feels like being sociable. Ran into a weird cross-section of people I know at the party. Blue Blood hotties in attendance included Scar, Voltaire, and Jax.
I got Lemmy to agree with me that Scar has a magnificent pussy.
Oh yeah, and I went to some fetish-oriented convention or something during the day. I think I spent a lot of dough to exhibit at it too.
Got the rest of my Vegas snapshots from the convention fest posted now at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/avnbondcon/index.html. The following pix are all from Saturday, which is at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/avnbondcon/saturday/index.html.
NOTE: AS ALWAYS WITH SNAPSHOTS OF MINE (NOT MY PRO PHOTOGRAPHY) ANYONE IN THESE PIX IS FREE TO REPOST THEM AT WILL. Please just leave the spookycash.com credit on there.
Ran into my friend Dave from New York who I haven't seen in ages, even though I think we live really close together now. Dave sometimes has a New York state of mind, but he had just won an award and was pretty chipper for him. He blew off the party, but I'm going to attempt to dig out his email and see if he feels like being sociable. Ran into a weird cross-section of people I know at the party. Blue Blood hotties in attendance included Scar, Voltaire, and Jax.
I got Lemmy to agree with me that Scar has a magnificent pussy.
Oh yeah, and I went to some fetish-oriented convention or something during the day. I think I spent a lot of dough to exhibit at it too.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Drunken Webmaster Bowling
Okay, I've been experimenting with alcohol since I stopped being so allergic to it. And my conclusions are as follows:
(1) It can make unfun things fun
(2) It can make fun things more fun
(3) It is fattening
(4) Hard liquor, no matter how girlied-up, is probably a bad idea for Amelia
I know I had a great time bowling. I am actually really fired up to go bowl again with or without webmasters in attendance. I do not, however, recall a number of details of the evening and I don't think that happens drinking just beer. Plus, I intend to attempt not to get so drunk I karaoke in the future.
Normally, when I go through party snapshots, the stuff I edit out is as follows:
(1) Anything which would get someone I like in trouble with their girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse
(2) Anything illegal whether it is being done by someone I like or dislike or am indifferent or undecided about
(3) Anything involving karaoke
In this instance, however, given that Forrest has video of the occasion, there seems to be no point in censoring the karaoke portion of the evening. I might also add that drunk-ass Forrest told some bizarro random karaoke patron who asked about my spikey shoes that yes, Amelia is a giant Kiss fan and he should go talk to me.
Okay, I've been experimenting with alcohol since I stopped being so allergic to it. And my conclusions are as follows:
(1) It can make unfun things fun
(2) It can make fun things more fun
(3) It is fattening
(4) Hard liquor, no matter how girlied-up, is probably a bad idea for Amelia
I know I had a great time bowling. I am actually really fired up to go bowl again with or without webmasters in attendance. I do not, however, recall a number of details of the evening and I don't think that happens drinking just beer. Plus, I intend to attempt not to get so drunk I karaoke in the future.
Normally, when I go through party snapshots, the stuff I edit out is as follows:
(1) Anything which would get someone I like in trouble with their girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse
(2) Anything illegal whether it is being done by someone I like or dislike or am indifferent or undecided about
(3) Anything involving karaoke
In this instance, however, given that Forrest has video of the occasion, there seems to be no point in censoring the karaoke portion of the evening. I might also add that drunk-ass Forrest told some bizarro random karaoke patron who asked about my spikey shoes that yes, Amelia is a giant Kiss fan and he should go talk to me.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
I just want people to be nice
I just want other people to be nice. They sure expect a lot of inconvenient extra consideration from me and they sure don't give a whole lot in return. I can be as ferocious as the next girl, but I really do not like not being nice. I really do like being nice.
Ladies don't start fights, but they sure as fuck all can finish them.* Why do people have to start with me?
*Bonus points to anyone who gets the mangled pop culture allusion there. hee hee
I just want other people to be nice. They sure expect a lot of inconvenient extra consideration from me and they sure don't give a whole lot in return. I can be as ferocious as the next girl, but I really do not like not being nice. I really do like being nice.
Ladies don't start fights, but they sure as fuck all can finish them.* Why do people have to start with me?
*Bonus points to anyone who gets the mangled pop culture allusion there. hee hee
Bleah
So . . . it is probably mostly PMS and exhaustion, but I feel kinda sucky today.
I still haven't done my resolutions for 2004.
I want more time to be creative with the written word.
I want to go to a spa and get back in shape and detoxify, now that I am feeling healthier. No idea where would be good to go or what that would cost. Or how long that would take.
I can't decide if my potential business resolutions are good ideas or just dumb stuff other people make me feel like I should want.
I love the friends I have, but they are all from such different social groups. I can't decide how to address this or what I should be doing to make myself and my loved ones happiest socially.
I'm hungry. I should go eat.
So . . . it is probably mostly PMS and exhaustion, but I feel kinda sucky today.
I still haven't done my resolutions for 2004.
I want more time to be creative with the written word.
I want to go to a spa and get back in shape and detoxify, now that I am feeling healthier. No idea where would be good to go or what that would cost. Or how long that would take.
I can't decide if my potential business resolutions are good ideas or just dumb stuff other people make me feel like I should want.
I love the friends I have, but they are all from such different social groups. I can't decide how to address this or what I should be doing to make myself and my loved ones happiest socially.
I'm hungry. I should go eat.
Bleah
So . . . it is probably mostly PMS and exhaustion, but I feel kinda sucky today.
I still haven't done my resolutions for 2004.
I want more time to be creative with the written word.
I want to go to a spa and get back in shape and detoxify, now that I am feeling healthier. No idea where would be good to go or what that would cost. Or how long that would take.
I can't decide if my potential business resolutions are good ideas or just dumb stuff other people make me feel like I should want.
I love the friends I have, but they are all from such different social groups. I can't decide how to address this or what I should be doing to make myself and my loved ones happiest socially.
I'm hungry. I should go eat.
So . . . it is probably mostly PMS and exhaustion, but I feel kinda sucky today.
I still haven't done my resolutions for 2004.
I want more time to be creative with the written word.
I want to go to a spa and get back in shape and detoxify, now that I am feeling healthier. No idea where would be good to go or what that would cost. Or how long that would take.
I can't decide if my potential business resolutions are good ideas or just dumb stuff other people make me feel like I should want.
I love the friends I have, but they are all from such different social groups. I can't decide how to address this or what I should be doing to make myself and my loved ones happiest socially.
I'm hungry. I should go eat.
No matter where you go, there you are
And I went into the bathroom with Scar to show her the watermelon and the party director told me that there was no problem at all if I wanted to do drugs but please don't hog one of the only two bathrooms for too long. I told him we weren't doing drugs. We just wanted to take pictures of the watermelon.
He seemed so dubious that I couldn't bring myself to ask him if the random watermelon placement was the movie reference I was thinking of or not.
I was a little insulted by the drug assumption. I've got good manners. Like I wouldn't offer the host the opportunity to come share. Please.
Anyone get the movie reference or am I the biggest dork up in this mutha?
And I went into the bathroom with Scar to show her the watermelon and the party director told me that there was no problem at all if I wanted to do drugs but please don't hog one of the only two bathrooms for too long. I told him we weren't doing drugs. We just wanted to take pictures of the watermelon.
He seemed so dubious that I couldn't bring myself to ask him if the random watermelon placement was the movie reference I was thinking of or not.
I was a little insulted by the drug assumption. I've got good manners. Like I wouldn't offer the host the opportunity to come share. Please.
Anyone get the movie reference or am I the biggest dork up in this mutha?
Monday, January 26, 2004
Back from Vegas Again
I am back now from doing Vegas again with Forrest, Scar, Szandora, and co.
Stayed at a shockingly nice hotel. Weird one for Vegas too. Two bathrooms in the suite. Everything in muted gray, charcoal, cream, and black and no slot machines to be heard anywhere. And three valets if there are three of you getting into your car. An excess of flatscreen TVs in the room. Marble shower. Bathtub with waterfall faucet. Comfortable beds with non-ugly bedspreads. Good pillows. Plush robes. Plush towels. Origami action on the washcloths. Toiletries so attractively packaged that Scar was all over the jars. Really good service.
Such complete silence that it seemed like it couldn't be a hotel and there couldn't be any people anywhere else in the building outside our rooms. Wish I could sleep like that more often. Would have been happy to stay in that bed for a really extended time.
Much of the staff apparently believed our band was playing House of Blues. This may or may not account for the extremely good service.
Either way, what an excellent experience hanging out with my pals in a nice environment! Got to shoot in some naughty club locations and see Szandora hula too. Hee hee.
I am back now from doing Vegas again with Forrest, Scar, Szandora, and co.
Stayed at a shockingly nice hotel. Weird one for Vegas too. Two bathrooms in the suite. Everything in muted gray, charcoal, cream, and black and no slot machines to be heard anywhere. And three valets if there are three of you getting into your car. An excess of flatscreen TVs in the room. Marble shower. Bathtub with waterfall faucet. Comfortable beds with non-ugly bedspreads. Good pillows. Plush robes. Plush towels. Origami action on the washcloths. Toiletries so attractively packaged that Scar was all over the jars. Really good service.
Such complete silence that it seemed like it couldn't be a hotel and there couldn't be any people anywhere else in the building outside our rooms. Wish I could sleep like that more often. Would have been happy to stay in that bed for a really extended time.
Much of the staff apparently believed our band was playing House of Blues. This may or may not account for the extremely good service.
Either way, what an excellent experience hanging out with my pals in a nice environment! Got to shoot in some naughty club locations and see Szandora hula too. Hee hee.
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Vegas continued to more conventions
So we basically participated in much of the festivities for three conventions while we were in Vegas last. Friday snapshots of our booth are posted now at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/avnbondcon/friday/index.html
When it was time to get our booth set up, we headed over to the convention hall which was oddly not at the Luxor but down the street
Perry got marked by Scar who was looking mighty fine
Got to see a whole passle of cool folks I wish I ran into more often
Is Darenzia's boyfriend supa dupa fine or what! They look so good together.
So we basically participated in much of the festivities for three conventions while we were in Vegas last. Friday snapshots of our booth are posted now at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/avnbondcon/friday/index.html
When it was time to get our booth set up, we headed over to the convention hall which was oddly not at the Luxor but down the street
Perry got marked by Scar who was looking mighty fine
Got to see a whole passle of cool folks I wish I ran into more often
Is Darenzia's boyfriend supa dupa fine or what! They look so good together.
Fuck a duck
So apparently Forrest was so plastered at drunk webmaster bowling that he accidentally took a VIDEO of me and a number of other people doing horrible karaoke to Queen. He swears that he did not even know my snapshot camera did video. I would hunt him down and murder him if I didn't need him to go do Vegas with me and some hotties in a few hours.
So apparently Forrest was so plastered at drunk webmaster bowling that he accidentally took a VIDEO of me and a number of other people doing horrible karaoke to Queen. He swears that he did not even know my snapshot camera did video. I would hunt him down and murder him if I didn't need him to go do Vegas with me and some hotties in a few hours.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Note to self
When participating in drunk webmaster bowling before going to Long Beach . . .
(1) Realize that you will drink too much to make it to Long Beach in a timely fashion.
(2) When certain parties have bought you enough Heinies and banana daquiris that you might be willing to do the shot of Jager, DO NOT DO THE SHOT OF JAGER! IT IS JUST IMPAIRED JUDGEMENT MAKING IT SEEM OKAY. Jager and Grey Goose are from the same company and, if that is not culture clash, I don't know what is.
(3) Where the fuck is my snapshot camera? I suspect it could tell me volumes about last night.
When participating in drunk webmaster bowling before going to Long Beach . . .
(1) Realize that you will drink too much to make it to Long Beach in a timely fashion.
(2) When certain parties have bought you enough Heinies and banana daquiris that you might be willing to do the shot of Jager, DO NOT DO THE SHOT OF JAGER! IT IS JUST IMPAIRED JUDGEMENT MAKING IT SEEM OKAY. Jager and Grey Goose are from the same company and, if that is not culture clash, I don't know what is.
(3) Where the fuck is my snapshot camera? I suspect it could tell me volumes about last night.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
More Vegas!
Got my Wednesday in Vegas pix posted now at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/janinternext2004/wednesday/index.html
More about what these depict later.
Got my Wednesday in Vegas pix posted now at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/janinternext2004/wednesday/index.html
More about what these depict later.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Sunday, January 18, 2004
Friday, January 16, 2004
Back Home
Vegas was amazing. Almost killed me. Got pix posted now from Sunday the first night at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/janinternext2004/index.html As the week+ went on, there are a smaller and smaller percentage of the pictures from each night I can post. Fortunately, I took a lot of photos, so this is not too much of an impediment.
Hung with Forrest, Szandora, Kayla, Bunny, dyingsunshine, and other non-journal miscreants. Went to sushi dinner. Service was peculiar, but I got what I ordered. Went to club to see Szandora hula. She was magnificent of course. Went to supposed location of Playboy party at Red Rooster. Ended up at Red Rooster Mini Storage, as opposed to Red Rooster swingers club. Oops.
Went to bar at Venetian. This would become a recurring motif for the week.
Hooked up with a bunch of friends, including one fashion plate friend of mine whose luggage had been temporarily lost with all the crazy security. Fortunately it was found or shopping would have been the first order of business. As it was, we all piled into this ridiculous Hummer stretch limo to go to the Playboy party for real this time. My pals were being such alcoholics that they made the limo driver stop off to buy more booze to drink during the trip from the hotel bar to the open bar Playboy party. They drank gross sweet hard liquor beverages which I passed on, but they appeared to enjoy. Club the Playboy party was at was weird. It included bedrooms you could sneak into if you didn't mind the spooge of swingers past. Rocking good time though.
Then went to bar at Venetian where much misbehavior ensued.
Vegas was amazing. Almost killed me. Got pix posted now from Sunday the first night at http://www.spookycash.com/fun/janinternext2004/index.html As the week+ went on, there are a smaller and smaller percentage of the pictures from each night I can post. Fortunately, I took a lot of photos, so this is not too much of an impediment.
Hung with Forrest, Szandora, Kayla, Bunny, dyingsunshine, and other non-journal miscreants. Went to sushi dinner. Service was peculiar, but I got what I ordered. Went to club to see Szandora hula. She was magnificent of course. Went to supposed location of Playboy party at Red Rooster. Ended up at Red Rooster Mini Storage, as opposed to Red Rooster swingers club. Oops.
Went to bar at Venetian. This would become a recurring motif for the week.
Hooked up with a bunch of friends, including one fashion plate friend of mine whose luggage had been temporarily lost with all the crazy security. Fortunately it was found or shopping would have been the first order of business. As it was, we all piled into this ridiculous Hummer stretch limo to go to the Playboy party for real this time. My pals were being such alcoholics that they made the limo driver stop off to buy more booze to drink during the trip from the hotel bar to the open bar Playboy party. They drank gross sweet hard liquor beverages which I passed on, but they appeared to enjoy. Club the Playboy party was at was weird. It included bedrooms you could sneak into if you didn't mind the spooge of swingers past. Rocking good time though.
Then went to bar at Venetian where much misbehavior ensued.
Saturday, January 03, 2004
Sometimes It Rules to Be Me
It rules to be me! It rules to be me! I was so worried that I was going to get caught up with unimportant nonsense and miss getting my vital work done. But I made my magazine writing and photography deadline. I dyed my hair. I dyed Forrest's hair. (Forrest has an awesome new hair cut and looks tres HOT!) I got a good start on laundry. We got a bunch of the work done for what we need to have for the conventions. We got our newest site in the hopper to start accepting credit cards. Forrest got updates done for BarelyEvil.com. Still need to do an update for GothicSluts.com and Forrest needs to do one for RubberDollies.com but I think we'll make it before it is time to go. Also want to do a little clothing shopping beforehand, but I can do that when I get there too. I bought plane tickets for my cool models who are going to hang out with us and got them all the flight info. We finished a photo portfolio project. I think I've got almost all the cell phone numbers I will need. I chatted with a bunch of people I am really looking forward to seeing. I am super-psyched to see Szandora.
Thirty-six hours from now I will be eating sushi with a bunch of my favorite paid degenerate pals. Then hitting the Playboy party. Then who knows what.
I hope my grandfather will be all right, but I know there is nothing I can do but send him warm thoughts and hope for the best.
Going to do some business. See some old friends. Meet some people I only know online. Shoot some new models. Maybe make some new friends. Going to be productive and have fun.
Got jacuzzi suite action set for the whole time I'll be out of town. Of course, that is pretty much known to be a given, if I'm traveling, to anyone who reads my diary. I heart jacuzzis and this one could seat like four people. I know I will come back refreshed. Hopefully, I will not return to instant irritation like after the last cool trip I took. But I hope to be able to check things remotely at least a couple times while I am gone, so should be okay. Fingers crossed...
I may or may not update from the road, but I'll have lots of goofy snapshots of my adventures when I return.
It rules to be me! It rules to be me! I was so worried that I was going to get caught up with unimportant nonsense and miss getting my vital work done. But I made my magazine writing and photography deadline. I dyed my hair. I dyed Forrest's hair. (Forrest has an awesome new hair cut and looks tres HOT!) I got a good start on laundry. We got a bunch of the work done for what we need to have for the conventions. We got our newest site in the hopper to start accepting credit cards. Forrest got updates done for BarelyEvil.com. Still need to do an update for GothicSluts.com and Forrest needs to do one for RubberDollies.com but I think we'll make it before it is time to go. Also want to do a little clothing shopping beforehand, but I can do that when I get there too. I bought plane tickets for my cool models who are going to hang out with us and got them all the flight info. We finished a photo portfolio project. I think I've got almost all the cell phone numbers I will need. I chatted with a bunch of people I am really looking forward to seeing. I am super-psyched to see Szandora.
Thirty-six hours from now I will be eating sushi with a bunch of my favorite paid degenerate pals. Then hitting the Playboy party. Then who knows what.
I hope my grandfather will be all right, but I know there is nothing I can do but send him warm thoughts and hope for the best.
Going to do some business. See some old friends. Meet some people I only know online. Shoot some new models. Maybe make some new friends. Going to be productive and have fun.
Got jacuzzi suite action set for the whole time I'll be out of town. Of course, that is pretty much known to be a given, if I'm traveling, to anyone who reads my diary. I heart jacuzzis and this one could seat like four people. I know I will come back refreshed. Hopefully, I will not return to instant irritation like after the last cool trip I took. But I hope to be able to check things remotely at least a couple times while I am gone, so should be okay. Fingers crossed...
I may or may not update from the road, but I'll have lots of goofy snapshots of my adventures when I return.
Friday, January 02, 2004
Sickening
My grandfather got the same flu everyone has been getting. Like it did with a lot of people, it moved to his lungs. But he is 96-years-old, so he is in the hospital now. My mother's brother is blocking all communication with him by other family members in the hopes of getting a bigger inheritance.
The human relationships which should mean more than that which get boiled down to $$$ . . . well, it makes me feel sick and I'm mostly over the flu.
I know I'm just one person and there is only so much I can do to change the world, but I really want to make it a better place...
Ah, Hell, I'm looking forward to this trip. Should be good.
My grandfather got the same flu everyone has been getting. Like it did with a lot of people, it moved to his lungs. But he is 96-years-old, so he is in the hospital now. My mother's brother is blocking all communication with him by other family members in the hopes of getting a bigger inheritance.
The human relationships which should mean more than that which get boiled down to $$$ . . . well, it makes me feel sick and I'm mostly over the flu.
I know I'm just one person and there is only so much I can do to change the world, but I really want to make it a better place...
Ah, Hell, I'm looking forward to this trip. Should be good.
Thursday, January 01, 2004
People are Really Foolish to Constrain Me But I Guess I have No Personal Life
Ya know, I have a lot of venues I could complain about people in where it would make a difference. I have big mailing lists of both snail mail addresses and optin emails and a Yahoo Group. Other people mail their lists with their "side" every time the wind blows. I do not. I could, but I do not.
I write for a lot of magazines and I have been interviewed by a lot of magazines. I don't use those venues to express who I think is a jerk. I could, but I do not.
People pitch me all the time to write negative stories about folks they do not like. I don't publish them. I could, but I do not.
I've been interviewed about the scene for television on many occasions. I am always asked to include a negative opinion. I refuse to give bad sound bites about the scene. I could, but I do not.
Rumor has it that I have some high traffic web sites too. I don't post my less pleasant thoughts about other people there. I could, but I do not.
I keep a *personal* journal in order to have a place to vent about some of the things which vex me. I don't write anything untrue here and I generally don't even mention names. Yet there are constantly people reading my journal just waiting for something to complain about. If they can figure out any way to be a pain in the ass they will. It makes me feel very constrained.
I need a pressure valve and, if I don't have a small friendly place to vent, it is going to come out elsewhere.
If some band commits to playing a show and then reneges on their deal, I could complain about it in my journal. Or I could complain about in places where a lot more people would find out my opinion. Or I could take legal action.
If some publisher was supposed to have compensated me more than a year ago and has not, I could complain about it in my journal. Or I could complain about in places where a lot more people would find out my opinion. Or I could take legal action.
If some model has used all of her resources to try to slander me because now she has a site too even if it is a puny one, I could complain about it in my journal. Or I could complain about in places where a lot more people would find out my opinion. Or I could take legal action.
I try to let my distress out in small personal venues, but I could complain a lot louder. I grew up a lawyer's daughter and I know a lot of people in the scene know I have sued people who have done me wrong in the past. Are people *trying* to get me to go after them? I just want to vent a little and get some advice from my friends online. But, if I can not do that, my frustration is not going to go away. It is going to fester. It is going to cause me more pain and I think that is really unfair. I do not feel like I am too big to be allowed to have a place to be personal. I would rather just murmur about my sorrow, my wish that the world I built my life and dreams around was not filled with ungrateful lazy backstabbers. I'm just sad about it and I don't want to fight. So, from the point of view of all those who oppose, ARE YOU TRYING TO FORCE ME TO GET YOUR ASSES IN THE RING? Because that is what denying me this outlet is going to get you -- bigger noise and lawsuits.
I'm still contemplating my resolutions for 2004 and there have been years I've resolved to sue people who deserved it. I take my resolutions seriously too.
Ya know, I have a lot of venues I could complain about people in where it would make a difference. I have big mailing lists of both snail mail addresses and optin emails and a Yahoo Group. Other people mail their lists with their "side" every time the wind blows. I do not. I could, but I do not.
I write for a lot of magazines and I have been interviewed by a lot of magazines. I don't use those venues to express who I think is a jerk. I could, but I do not.
People pitch me all the time to write negative stories about folks they do not like. I don't publish them. I could, but I do not.
I've been interviewed about the scene for television on many occasions. I am always asked to include a negative opinion. I refuse to give bad sound bites about the scene. I could, but I do not.
Rumor has it that I have some high traffic web sites too. I don't post my less pleasant thoughts about other people there. I could, but I do not.
I keep a *personal* journal in order to have a place to vent about some of the things which vex me. I don't write anything untrue here and I generally don't even mention names. Yet there are constantly people reading my journal just waiting for something to complain about. If they can figure out any way to be a pain in the ass they will. It makes me feel very constrained.
I need a pressure valve and, if I don't have a small friendly place to vent, it is going to come out elsewhere.
If some band commits to playing a show and then reneges on their deal, I could complain about it in my journal. Or I could complain about in places where a lot more people would find out my opinion. Or I could take legal action.
If some publisher was supposed to have compensated me more than a year ago and has not, I could complain about it in my journal. Or I could complain about in places where a lot more people would find out my opinion. Or I could take legal action.
If some model has used all of her resources to try to slander me because now she has a site too even if it is a puny one, I could complain about it in my journal. Or I could complain about in places where a lot more people would find out my opinion. Or I could take legal action.
I try to let my distress out in small personal venues, but I could complain a lot louder. I grew up a lawyer's daughter and I know a lot of people in the scene know I have sued people who have done me wrong in the past. Are people *trying* to get me to go after them? I just want to vent a little and get some advice from my friends online. But, if I can not do that, my frustration is not going to go away. It is going to fester. It is going to cause me more pain and I think that is really unfair. I do not feel like I am too big to be allowed to have a place to be personal. I would rather just murmur about my sorrow, my wish that the world I built my life and dreams around was not filled with ungrateful lazy backstabbers. I'm just sad about it and I don't want to fight. So, from the point of view of all those who oppose, ARE YOU TRYING TO FORCE ME TO GET YOUR ASSES IN THE RING? Because that is what denying me this outlet is going to get you -- bigger noise and lawsuits.
I'm still contemplating my resolutions for 2004 and there have been years I've resolved to sue people who deserved it. I take my resolutions seriously too.
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