Sometimes I feel like there is a sign on my head which everyone but me can read. It says, "don't keep your end of the bargain and complain about her afterwards if she doesn't like it."

--Amelia G

Why is it so difficult to have good collaborations with people? I am so sick of people who have me do my part and then decide maybe there should be a loophole in the agreement when it comes time to do theirs.

--Amelia G

Did good darkroom work today for the first time in a long time. Had to drive to slightly beyond the edge of the earth to get there, but it was worth it. The crazy-making chemistry is better ventilated at this one than it has been at some. Had a really cool camera rig rented which I had to give back at three something this afternoon, so we managed to cram in one more shoot today. I use my equipment so hard that a lot of it is broken. I need some new stuff. Sleepy time now.

--Amelia G

I got some sleep earlier today, but here I am haunting the house in the wee hours again.

A long time ago my brother was up past his bedtime, kneeling on the couch playing a video game and, when his guy died, he reared up and slapped himself on the forehead . . . and fell forward smashing his head on the marble coffee table. He then sat back down, saying don't tell mom, and started a new game . . . with blood streaming down his face. When the blood reached his eyes and he realized, we both agreed that maybe we should go ahead and tell mom. He had to get stitches and has a scar to this day.

--Amelia G

Yay! I got our hacker problem fixed. I got our hacker problem fixed! Finally, finally, finally! I'd dance a jig if I were not so exhausted. I was asleep by 2am tonight, but was awakened by a neighbor's amazingly loud sex. I was peeved at the time, but now I want to go over and wake her ass up and thank her profusely. I am sooooooo happy. Okay, I still need to reissue a whole lot of username/password combos, but they will be secure once I do.

Yum, I am eating organic blueberry baby yogurt. Baby stuff has less sugar and carbs than regular and tastes better too. Blueberry is a tasty new flavor of it.

I had a good shoot tonight with two very cool friends who I'm going to put in Swag I'm so pleased to have another venue to support my friends in. This past year definitely had the Nietzsche life improvement plan going. But it actually has made me focus more on stuff that makes me happy, spend more time on stuff that I enjoy, and it helped me shed a lot of dead weight which was dragging me down. It always hurts to find out that someone you thought you could believe in would sell you out for a donut, but it is always better to know who your friends really are.

I'm trying to think of who the best entertainment would be for the Swag release party, but it is hard to come up with what would be perfect. Of course there are a bunch of bands I like, but it is difficult to pick just one that would be a perfect fit thematically for the new magazine. My first choice was inconsiderate enough to break up.

--Amelia G

Since my LJ got suspended, I've been feeling a little disconnected in the online world, so I've been yakking a bunch on various boards, in particular this one really addictive adult webmaster board. I think it is poetically beautiful that someone who feels competitive with me from a business perspective forced me to do more online business interaction in place of my social online interaction. It has actually been pretty fun to talk to other people who know about some of that stuff. It is only part of what I do, even though the competive jerks put everything they have into their sites. Because the webmaster types I know in real life are all inclined to do things like brag aggressively about how they are so huge they get a thousand visitors . . . a month, it has been really nice to talk to people who understand the weirdness of trying to think of ways to promote your site at 3am when you have insomnia, but who do not really get my fetishes for the most part. A guy on one board said, trying to be helpful, that he thought Gothic Sluts was just too "abstract a concept." hee hee

--Amelia G