Yolanda



Here is a shot I like which Forrest Black and I shot of super cool hottie Yolanda. You can see a more from this shoot in a free Gothic Sluts gallery here if you feel like it. Homegirl is in Europe right now though, darn it. We missed our last shoot due to a combination of sucky light (we were scheduled for outside) and a car accident. But I bet she picks up some awesome new clothes while she is over there. I just did new passport photos today and actually dug up my birth certificate and stuff.

Max Hardcore Patriotic Celebration




I'm definitely getting ringside seats in hell now. The cool tatted out webmaster for Max Hardcore just invited me to a 4th of July BBQ. I don't really like to leave the house that much, unless it is for actual travel, but I think I might make an exception in this case. I met Max Hardcore for a moment at an adult convention years ago when we were both wearing fun fur jackets. He has a really extreme amount of that rock star kind of sexy where he just exudes this aura of hotness that goes way beyond what he looks like. It was actually sort of startling and creepy in way. We are net buddies, but I'm really curious to see what his webmaster is like in person.

--Amelia G

GothCon Lynch Mob

So tried posting my feelings about GothCon to Goth Con Inquisition and I got one response from one of the moderators who I actually do think believes in what he is doing, unlike a bunch of the other people who are trying to get something or just enjoy being part of a lynch mob. With all of the people Ugly Shyla has befriended over the years, this whole mob just points out how quickly most of our scene forgets the positive. Below is an [edited to make sense not in that thread] elaboration on what I am talking about:

One of the things which I think is turning a lot of people off with the whole Inquisition thing is that the disagreements are so much more heated than makes any sense. But note that I posted something reasonable and only one person responded. Shyla expressed that she thought the Inquisition was just a bunch of fatsos peeved that they did not get laid and she got a response. That strikes me like, with the exception of theonebob most of the people involved in this thing do not want a reasonable response. I think the likely reasons they want to provoke unreasonable-sounding responses is because (a) they have a secret axe to grind or (b) they enjoy a lynch mob mentality. The whole thing depresses me.

Shyla would like to see the event happen again this year. Our community has so few events as it is. We should not need to put charity forth as the reason to have an event. We should care about our community.

I'm not saying GothCon must go on, but surely this amount of effort could go into creating something for the scene, rather than tearing something down.

RIAA Suing Intellectual Property Thieves


Probably a lot of folks have heard about the RIAA's plans to take legal action against individuals who are downloading illegal copies of songs.

A friend of mine was having lunch today and heard two network engineers discussing how much they like to steal adult images and video and how they don't know why everyone doesn't do it.

I just saw a guy on a bulletin board complaining about how he tried twenty-five times to download a song he wanted. Apparently the record company had flooded the peer2peer networks with fake versions. Isn't this guy's time worth something? I would think it would just make sense to buy the CD if he is that sure he wants that song. This was on a businessperson board, so it is not like this guy is surfing broadband on welfare. If a band you like doesn't make enough to put out another album, you will really be out of luck on getting songs you want.

It amazes me that people think it is okay to steal intellectual property if they like want it ya know and righteous to steal intellectual property when it is music. Yes, bands ask for a lot of stuff for free from other people and they tend to do very little charity themselves. Our scene is particularly bad as far as this type of band behavior goes. Nonetheless, creating cool stuff takes art supplies. Guitars, cameras, keyboards, computers, pencils, software, pens, canvas, paint, film, paper, etc.

If artists have no revenue stream at all, then they can not even come close to breaking even. And, eventually, this has to curtail their creativity. I went hungry for a lot of years and I drove dangerous and ugly cars for a lot of years and I lived in disgusting group houses for a lot of years. But, if I do a project that costs $6,000 and brings in $5,000 and supports the scene, there are still people who begrudge me not having taken a total loss on the whole thing.

If people who care about art and entertainment do not support it, it will cease to exist.

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Saw this in Crimson Mei's Journal

Happy Deathday!
Your name:	amelia_g
You will die on:	Wednesday, November 21, 2035
You will die of:	Smote by God
Username:
Created by Quill

So I was feeling a little stressed because I had to spend the afternoon in Beverly Hills again today. Doctors and lawyers, lawyers and doctors. So I went to Cirxa which theoretically serves decent southern food. It is a bit of a trek east for me, but I thought it would counterbalance the excessive west side experience.

I get to Cirxa and their Health Dept rating has been lowered. And it is empty. Bleah, but I'm hungry and the owner comes out and tells me to have a seat and his server should be back soon. He disappears back into the kitchen without giving us menus, but I go to the door to read the restaurant reviews pinned up there. I already know the food there is supposed to be variable and figured I could read reviewers' recommendations.

So I'm starting to read an article and this creepy chick in a green safety vest comes up to me with a pal following her. I see that she is carrying religious tracts and I just ignore her and keep trying to read. So she steps waaaaaay inside my personal space, not to mention onto the restaurant's property. I tell her "no thanks, not interested." She keeps murmuring incoherently under her breath about Heehoo Kri. She keeps encroaching on my personal space. I glare at her. No effect. I glare at her really mean. No effect. I tell her I am REALLY not interested. No effect. I repeat it more hostiley. No effect. I tell her to go away. She smiles at me beatifically and tries once again to press her pamphleture upon me. She is like a jesus robot zombie with a defective circuit. She smiles more and more like she is on drugs as I get more and more upset. Not one sentence she utters is entirely comprehensible. She steps so close to me that any motion on my part would mean I had to touch her. I scream at her repeatedly to GO AWAY and to GET AWAY FROM ME. I am finally screaming in my most hostile voice and the few people who have heard that voice I think would vouch that it would make most people think twice about continuing. According to witnesses, at this point, the creepy safety-vest chick's associate apparently starting moving back, but this jesus robot zombie did not. Finally, I've got my fist cocked and I am pursing my lips to spit on her and Forrest Black steps up and stands between me and creepy green vest woman. Apparently, he is more intimidating than I am -- even though I really was about to punch her, although I am really really not a violent person normally -- or perhaps he has the mark of the Beast more prominently displayed on his forehead than I do. Finally, the pair of evangelists leaves. The green safety vest has some aggressive slogan about DON'T GO TO HELL on it.

The owner comes out of the kitchen and I ask him if he normally has a problem with jesus freaks. He says no, he always just tells them to leave. He comments about people who are just really bent on bringing other folks up to heaven with them and not being ready to go yet himself.

I told him that I lived in the South for a while and, as I recall, the food was good and the christians were overly aggressive, so at least his place was authentic.

Except, even once the server showed up from her errands, the food was not nearly good enough to justify the aggravation.

And before I got any food, another pair of creeps -- one in a green safety vest and one without -- actually accosted us at our table inside the restaurant. Same incoherence in the vest-wearer and same beatific zombie smile. That time the owner told them to leave and they did pretty quickly. I had told him I almost punched the first set, so I'm not sure if he was opposed to their obnoxious intrusive behavior, concerned for his business which could only suffer from this, or concerned for the well-being of the proselytizers.

Cornbread fried seafood was decent. Not exactly New Orleans, but I didn't expect that. The vegetables were pretty bad and the bread was inedible. A member of my party had to get up and ask the mostly absent waitress for the check because she was concentrating on diving swag. Yes, diving swag. It was all surreal.

I went to the bathroom before I left. It is the kind of restaurant with paper and crayons on the tables. Some of the better patron's drawings were taped to the wall. None of them were taped over other drawings. Except for one. There was one piece of table cover with a slogan from the new testament on it and it was taped on top of a perfectly good drawing of a woman's face. I took the vandal's slogan sheet down, crumpled it up, and threw it out.

GothCon and Two Cents for Charity

Ugh, I just read a bunch of the Goth Con Inquisition community and there are actually people who have ripped me off in there posting about how horrible just horrible horrible horrible it is that anyone in the scene would be a scammer.

Here is my take on GothCon if anyone cares:

(1) Although I was invited and I appreciate the invitation, I am not going to be a guest at GothCon this year.

(2) I donated a few grand worth of entertainment for GothCon as well. I was a guest at GothCon last year. I donated my time to speak on panels. I donated free advertising for the event in our newsletters which go out to thousands and thousands of people. I paid my own way for airfare and hotel, although some conventions would have covered that for me. I decided to stay at a boutique hotel with a less corporate feel practically across the street from the Marriot. Upon arrival, I discovered that the new hotel was a pricey cab ride away. When I saw the new hotel, I was really really glad I was staying elsewhere. As a result, I spent more time hanging in New Orleans than at the convention and missed the fashion show and some other things I might have given press coverage.

(3) I would never get anything accomplished if I spent all of my time pursuing every person who ever ripped me off for photography. Sometimes I take action, but, for example, "Fetish Cares" is posting sanctimoniously in [the GCInquisition] thread while apparently using my work without permission or payment to promote their event and I have not gone after them for it to date.

(4) I like Ugly Shyla. She is a good person. She is one of the few people in the scene who regularly tries to do good for others. She is one of the few people who remembers good deeds. She is one of the few people who remembers a favor. She frequently does nice things for other people without them asking and without having to rub it in. She is one of the only people who always tries to make sure at least one person is happier for having crossed her path every day.

(5) Forrest Black's main point was that, with all of the scam artists around, it seems odd that this particular scam is such a much bigger deal to people. Of course, keeping money supposedly collected for a charity is wrong. Nobody could possibly debate otherwise. But it would be nice if our scene produced more events where everyone could get together and meet in person and have a good time. Sure I think AIDS charities are good. I've donated money to charity in recent memory. I don't think that many scene people have. I regularly donate to events which I feel support the scene. I donated to GothCon to support the scene. Even if Snow is a scamming parasite, why is she so much worse than every other person in the scene who has ever done something wrong?

Ministry

A friend of mine once had to receive emergency medical care after chewing on glass to impress a girl. She was a big Ministry fan. He still didn't get any from her.

Moet & Chandon

So I went to the Netherlands with my parents when I was 16. They asked me what I wanted to see. I said the Red Light District and the brewery. So they took me to tour the World Court. Shortly thereafter, I left home. While I was at university, my parents and my brother went and toured the Moet factory without me. I just bought a bottle of one of their less dry champagnes. Costs less than I thought it would. Tastes pretty good. Tastes like childhood and innocence and optimism.

Must Have Technology

So, my computer was jacked up for the last few days. I get so many thousands of spam emails a day to go with the tons of real email I get that multiple email inboxes blew up. Add that to the fact that the worst thing you can do for your hard drive is to do both web work and magazine work on it. Really, I need a new computer network. But, for now, I have satiated myself with a new cell phone and digital cable with an extra six pack of music video channels.



These are toys which I can play with, as opposed to ones which cost a lot more and which I will have to do work.

Bruce Willis Before Clint Eastwood I think

It is Szandora's fault that I took a quiz again.


Smith & Wessen .44 Magnum. You are old school. Fat
Sheriff Deputies fancy you. Reliable but not
too practical.


What handgun are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

LJ Interview meme

LJ Interview meme from dingopariah



1. Speaking as a photographer, how large does a penis have to be before it can be considered "display quality"?

I think shape and skin texture are more important for display quality. Oh, and ability to maintain an erection in unusual circumstances with the lights on. Size is partly relative on camera i.e. has more to do with size of penis in proportion to the person, instead of the absolute size of something that either could or could not pound a pussy well. Style and star quality are more important than penis size and I'll try harder to make someone I think is hot look good in all departments. A good photographer should be able to put the right angle on a nice boi's thang. At least, I've repeatedly had male models marvel at how big their cocks look when photographed by your truly.





2. Blind nostalgia notwithstanding, is there anything you miss about DC?

Yes. I miss the sense of community I got when I first got there. I miss the intense sense of having finally come home to where I truly belonged. I miss having a large posse of people who might be hostile in private but would have my back in public. I miss making scenes in public places. I miss the freedom of having nothing to lose. I miss the optimism I used to have about my friends' potential. I regret that I could not even take Sarah with me because she did not have the stamina for the journey. I miss hanging out with people who genuinely were into what they were into, not just auditioning for a part. I miss the East Coast SF conventions because they were for people with more varied interests, rather than just the rabid fans of one TV show. I miss being some place where if someone said they liked Nine Inch Nails, it meant that either (a) they liked NIN or (b) they wanted to fuck me or (c) they wanted to fuck someone I know, as opposed to some complex starfucker business reason. Sometimes I miss the instant focus group action of living in a group house where I could just walk out of my office and ask someone if something sucked or was cool. I miss the comradery. I miss some of those legendary punk rock Cambodia parties. I miss having a place to hand out punk rock zines where people got it. But I know the things I miss were just moments in time and they could not and did not last. I left because the moments were fewer and farther between and the geography just reminded me of what I was missing.

All in all, though, if the choice was trying to make ephemeral moments last forever or growing up to genuinely impact and change the aesthetics of the world around me and make a difference for a lot of people and sign a lot of autographs and roll in a Town Car. Well, I'd make the same choices again. Might stop back for a visit some time though.



3. Given the choice of five years in a state penitentiary or informing to the police on your acquaintances illegal activities, what would you do?

I would photograph my most-likely-to-crack friend patching the bullet holes in the side of the house, so that I would have leverage to make sure he did not want to talk to the police and our stories would match if we had to. There is always a choice besides enslavement or losing your soul. Just gotta think out of the box. At heart, I suppose I am an optimist (and a lawyer's kid like you) and I always believe there is another option, if the ones before me are loathsome.



4. What is the ugliest thing you see every day? (Or almost every day.)

That net photo of the guy pulling open his bleeding asshole with both hands.



5. What is the last object you threw (not tossed), and for what reason?

My mouse. My hand hurt from working too much and the mouse was not performing up to expectations and needed to be taught a lesson.

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Party Time

Some jerk stole my bank card number and bought stuff I would not buy with it. For example, they actually bought a membership to someone I know (who comps me)'s site. Argh. I've had to use the musty old physical night drop at my bank and so they lost my deposits. I went in today and, after a bit under two hours, they found my missing checks. I can't believe the banking system would let someone shop with my card when they did not have my name or address or number or even I think expiration date or bank name right.

My bank eventually saw the error of their ways and gave me some of my dough and I should have a new card soon. So now I am going to get Forrest to come out and paint the town red with me.

Mad Max's hot sister is naked on my roof

I just posted a few new sets to Gothic Sluts. I'm particularly pleased with this one shot on my roof:



In other news, I think I'm getting a cold and my jaw hurts. I just finished reading Cynthia Heimel's new book and it sort of depressed me that she didn't find true love for more than a few minutes in the time since Sex Tips for Girls.

Is it Gothic to listen to a dead guy rapping, "I'm a typa nigga who's built to last"?

Transvestite Hooker's Lovechild says, "I'll be back"

So it appears that both Arnold Schwartenegger and Jerry Springer are considering running for public office. Looks like they are both eyeballing governor slots. I've thought Harrison Ford should run for president for a long time now.

Cocaine is a better preservative than 40s

Whoa. I just turned on the TV so I would hear when Insomniac comes on and it was on I think FOX and O'Reilly was playing an Eminem clip on something called "The Pulse" and then it cuts to O'Reilly saying that in ten years rap will be a dinosaur but Stevie Nicks is forever. Cut to Stevie clip.

How surreal is that. And how indicative that the man has no values, just a problem with aging poorly. I doubt that there is more than 2% intersection of values between that self-aggrandizing creep and the blonde singer he'd like to get with.

Club Drunk

Wow. How surreal. Masuimi Max and I think Lucifire are on the web site Club Drunk. Somehow I doubt most of their members really get the whole performance. They can probably appreciate breasts though I guess.

Pigs, Chickens, Loathing, and Espresso

I hate people who think the barter system means that they trade a pig for six chickens and then, after they have eaten the six chickens, they demand their pig back.

I hate when people have sixteen different online personas. And some of their personas have really rotten personalities. But if you seem like maybe you don't like just one of those personas, then all fifteen other personas and the real life person decide to hate you forever.

I hate supposed pals who come crying to me to defend them when someone is mean to them. Then I am down on the person who was mean to my alleged friend, on my friend's account, not because I even necessarily have a relationship with the person. And then my theoretical associate decides to be friends with the person they wanted to be defended from . . . and likes me less because their new friend doesn't.

I hate people who start a project because they are inspired by a project of mine and then try to start drama, when really they could just appreciate that which inspired them.

I hate people I've done favors for who make up lies about me.

I hate that there are people who should know better who believe lies about me.

I hate people whose guilty consciences make them think I am talking about them when I am not.

I hate that my espresso machine is broken and I can't decide if I want to stop drinking coffee long term or buy a new machine.

It's all good

Just finished a Gothic Sluts update:



I love this picture.

After having been to the chiropracter almost every day this week, my back is starting to feel right again.

My best bud gave me a gift certificate for a spa which gives all sorts of special massages.

I have leftover bbq in the oven heating up right now and South Park on DVD.

I'm feeling pretty darn good right now.

I Don't Like Mondays

I just saw some knob on a message board saying that media coverage of school shooting must be down because emo was becoming more popular than goth and kids were taking more Zoloft.

I know I shouldn't take the bait on this, but I must vent:

The kids who shot things up in Columbine did not consider themselves gothic. They did not like gothic music. They did not dress in gothic fashions. They did not like Marilyn Manson.

They were given prescription medications by supposedly trained psych professionals.

The media just felt that calling it a gothic mansonite plot would be easier for the average person to get his or her brain around than explaining complex subcultural issues. Now the public is bored of hearing about pissed-off school kids so the media is covering something else.

People's ignorance on the topic makes me want to listen to Dashboard Confessional and shoot people.

Life of Vice



Some photography Forrest Black and I did of the always perfect Szandora is featured on the new Life of Vice site. If you feel like looking at a bunch of free pictures, some of which are very cool, and some of which . . . well, they are on interesting topics . . . then trundle on over to check out the new site. WARNING: In case the name Life of Vice was not enough of a hint, this is a not-safe-for-work site.

Love, Amelia G

American Express is everywhere you want to be

Continuing the Bret Easton Ellis Theme . . .



Okay, the owner of this site gave me permission to post this picture, so long as I linked to his stuff. Does anyone besides me think it is funny that you can get to jerk off to this site for free or just look at the pictures for an hour for FREE. Of course, once that free hour is up, you have to PAY. Did I mention that the name of the site is COKE WHORES?