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FAQ for interested models & anyone with a shred of a sense of decency who reads my journal

Please note that the following is my bio from my profile page and has been since I started this journal:

Bio:
Note: This is my *personal* journal, so, if I am talking about site stuff, please feel free to comment about it, but I prefer talking about personal stuff here, so I would way rather hear about your dog or your opinion on social issues than about when would I like to do a photo shoot or when is x and so going to be available to the public. If you are interested in modeling, please send one to five jpegs of what you look like to submit@blueblood.net along with information on what city you live in or near, whether you have any plans to visit Southern California or Las Vegas, and what you are interested in/comfortable with doing on camera i.e. types and levels of nudity, types of fashions, types of publication desired etc. If you previously submitted to sadistintern@blueblood.net please resubmit to the new email address. Thanks.

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If you just have my journal bookmarked in case you want to talk about yourself in it later, please read the FAQ and note that this sort of interaction is likely to go badly.

If you want to discuss personal things in personal space with me, that is great. I'm a friendly girl.

If you want to drag business issues into a space that (a) you should allow to be personal out of respect for my clear wishes and (b) expressly forbids conducting business in its TOS, then you are likely to get a less positive response than if you go through appropriate channels.

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That said, I'm going to go get a coffee and chill (with Forrest if he can speed through some of the shoot stuff he is doing now.) It is almost time for us to go pick up the fantabulous girl we are shooting this afternoon and I don't want to be all aggro while we are shooting when she has been great. I really wish that people who would like me to work faster would not try to start drama with me while I am trying to get work done. In all fairness, I had my most excellent brother on the phone and five webmaster friends on ICQ who were all doing biz in an enjoyable and friendly fashion and I was really rocking Photoshop this morning before I made the mistake of checking my journal email.

I would like a friendly space that was a respite from the more business end of things, but maybe this lj fad is coming to an end anyway.

A Perfect Circle

I should be getting ready to go out, but instead I am posting the pix from the last time I saw some of the folks I should be seeing tonight, assuming I leave the house. A few of my favorite pix are below and the rest are at http://www.ameliag.com/galleries/0604aperfectcircle/. I don't have pictures of the stage, but one of my savory pals who was very naughty does.

Small World

So I'm working on updates for BlueBlood.net tonight. Among other work things. Do I know how to party or what? And I edit Jonathan Woodward's RPG column. I figure he actually makes his deadlines, so his stuff gets posted first. And I see that he has reviewed an intriguing new game with cover art by someone I used to hang out with in DC. Small world sometimes. I wrote something longer about it at http://www.blueblood.net/boards/showthread.php?p=4407. I do often wonder what has happened to various people I've known over the years. Some people you come across again and again in different environments and some people seem so large one day and the next they just vaporize.

La La

So I had to go to two different doctors in Beverly Hills today. One suggested a fifteen thousand dollar treatment which would involve injecting myself. I didn't roll with that plan. My ankle hurts like a bitch from driving, although at least driving is doable with a brace now.

Updated some of the links on BLT:::Black Leather Times today. Much needed fixes there. Knocked the last of the banners out of ad rotation from a company which screwed over a friend of mine.

Entertainingly, the top Google searches last month for BLT:::Black Leather Times were:
jokers
sluts
black+sluts
gothic+sluts
hurricane+technology
fuck+you
jokers+
pink+floyd+hammer
+jokers
dirty+dishes

Thanks to the folks who responded to my where-the-fuck-am-I-at post, especially the ones who know me and know what I can do. Sometimes the level of suckiness of my fellow man makes me think I took the wrong path. But it really wasn't all a fucking accident and I just need to stop letting other people take what is mine. There are plenty of cool and appreciative and enjoyable people on the planet and I actually come in contact with a lot of them.

I just got an awful lot of news about various icky shenanigans this past month which I would have preferred not to know, but forewarned is a good thing I suppose. And, ironically, I do often do best when other people fuck with me because otherwise I think it is possible to slide into an adequate situation instead of an excellent one. And I just prefer the excelling thang. Shifting some stuff around and feeling darn good about it. Very optimistic. Got some updates for BlueBlood.net almost ready to go live. Going to take some Advil for my ankle now though.

Back home

So I'm back home.

I did a panel discussion thing at the conference for internet professionals I was at. My topic of expertise was how to get traffic to niche websites. Really a lot of people, including the organizer (who I did it for), came up later and told me how great I did. Quite a few people were like, "wasn't that your first panel?" More like my millionth. I kind of like public speaking. I was nervous beforehand because I wanted to do a good job. The only public speaking which makes me ill is reading my own fiction aloud and I'm working on that little problem. One of the people I was on the panel with has always been really nice to me in the past. We've never done business, but he has always been really friendly and he was kind of frosty afterwards. I hope he just had stuff on his mind. Forrest's conjecture was that the guy likes little girls and not businesswomen.

On the what-impression-do-I-make front, there was another guy who attended the seminar who came up to me at the Players Ball later in the weekend and was gushing about how great I was. So far so good. Then he starts going on about how he assumed I would be all "grunge" and not have a clue from what I looked like, but, once he heard me start speaking, he was like wow this girl would do great in the corporate world. Then he went on at great length about how I would do really well in the corporate world if I wanted to.

I told him that the coporate world moves kind of slowly for me. That, online, if I work hard, I can move up faster than I could in the corporate world. This is true. But, really, the problem is that I could never figure out how to get on board at a reasonable level to start off in the coporate world. So I would do these lower-end artsy positions and my supervisors would flip out when they realized I was more educated and more knowledgeable than they were. I worked at one publishing company where the production manager used to ransack my desk every morning before I came in, steal my allergy medication, and then put things I was allergic to in my workspace. She was eventually caught, but the owner laughed when I suggested that he should give me her job if she felt that threatened by me. She did, after all, start doing this after he started having me sit in on meetings with printing company reps because I was better at print buying and specs than she was.

I remember one time when I was starving in Atlanta and I called a friend who worked at Oracle for advice and she said she had gotten a lot of mutual acquaintances work, but she didn't believe I truly had the corporate dream, even though I had seemed more likely to succeed than any of the rest while we were in school together. Much earlier than that, a management consultant friend of mine offered to get me a job that was "sort of like a secretary but more educated" and I told him to keep his sexual fantasies to himself. He and I were halfway sort of dating and I thought it would be weird. I now understand that the job was jr. consultant and I should have taken it. But no one gave me a map. No one gave me an escape plan.

When my impact is great enough that giant corporations want what I do, they hire someone else to knock it off. To knock it off, but not very well.

I always thought I would go to work in flashy powersuits some day. Now I generally work in a T-shirt I got for a free and a bra I spent too much on.

I'm not doing bad, but I sure as hell am not doing as well as I thought I would be at this stage. I always thought that that youth and skill will be beaten by age and treachery thing was a joke. I thought if I worked really really really really hard, it would all work out just fine.

Ever see SLC Punk? That movie was the first time since ET that I cried in a movie theatre and the only time I actually really sobbed. That was supposed to be my life. My father went to Harvard Law. Heck, my mom did Harvard graduate work before women even really did such things.

SLC Punk was supposed to be how my story went, but Heroin Bob keeps dying and I can't get out.

Ow

So I finally went to the doctor for my slow-healing ankle and he says the tendon on my right foot is apparently torn. Probably not surgery-torn yet, but he can't be positive without an MRI and those are like a billion dollars. So I've got a little bandage thing now and a better immobilizer I have to get via mail. No wearing boots. No working out. No walking which can be avoided. Which is pretty much the order this distresses me in.

My right eye has started twitching like crazy again.

Had a really good time at A Perfect Circle. Snapshots coming shortly.

Had fun at the dinner I went to last night. Snapshots coming later.

So much to do and not enough hours in the day. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.