Ministry

A friend of mine once had to receive emergency medical care after chewing on glass to impress a girl. She was a big Ministry fan. He still didn't get any from her.

Moet & Chandon

So I went to the Netherlands with my parents when I was 16. They asked me what I wanted to see. I said the Red Light District and the brewery. So they took me to tour the World Court. Shortly thereafter, I left home. While I was at university, my parents and my brother went and toured the Moet factory without me. I just bought a bottle of one of their less dry champagnes. Costs less than I thought it would. Tastes pretty good. Tastes like childhood and innocence and optimism.

Must Have Technology

So, my computer was jacked up for the last few days. I get so many thousands of spam emails a day to go with the tons of real email I get that multiple email inboxes blew up. Add that to the fact that the worst thing you can do for your hard drive is to do both web work and magazine work on it. Really, I need a new computer network. But, for now, I have satiated myself with a new cell phone and digital cable with an extra six pack of music video channels.



These are toys which I can play with, as opposed to ones which cost a lot more and which I will have to do work.

Bruce Willis Before Clint Eastwood I think

It is Szandora's fault that I took a quiz again.


Smith & Wessen .44 Magnum. You are old school. Fat
Sheriff Deputies fancy you. Reliable but not
too practical.


What handgun are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

LJ Interview meme

LJ Interview meme from dingopariah



1. Speaking as a photographer, how large does a penis have to be before it can be considered "display quality"?

I think shape and skin texture are more important for display quality. Oh, and ability to maintain an erection in unusual circumstances with the lights on. Size is partly relative on camera i.e. has more to do with size of penis in proportion to the person, instead of the absolute size of something that either could or could not pound a pussy well. Style and star quality are more important than penis size and I'll try harder to make someone I think is hot look good in all departments. A good photographer should be able to put the right angle on a nice boi's thang. At least, I've repeatedly had male models marvel at how big their cocks look when photographed by your truly.





2. Blind nostalgia notwithstanding, is there anything you miss about DC?

Yes. I miss the sense of community I got when I first got there. I miss the intense sense of having finally come home to where I truly belonged. I miss having a large posse of people who might be hostile in private but would have my back in public. I miss making scenes in public places. I miss the freedom of having nothing to lose. I miss the optimism I used to have about my friends' potential. I regret that I could not even take Sarah with me because she did not have the stamina for the journey. I miss hanging out with people who genuinely were into what they were into, not just auditioning for a part. I miss the East Coast SF conventions because they were for people with more varied interests, rather than just the rabid fans of one TV show. I miss being some place where if someone said they liked Nine Inch Nails, it meant that either (a) they liked NIN or (b) they wanted to fuck me or (c) they wanted to fuck someone I know, as opposed to some complex starfucker business reason. Sometimes I miss the instant focus group action of living in a group house where I could just walk out of my office and ask someone if something sucked or was cool. I miss the comradery. I miss some of those legendary punk rock Cambodia parties. I miss having a place to hand out punk rock zines where people got it. But I know the things I miss were just moments in time and they could not and did not last. I left because the moments were fewer and farther between and the geography just reminded me of what I was missing.

All in all, though, if the choice was trying to make ephemeral moments last forever or growing up to genuinely impact and change the aesthetics of the world around me and make a difference for a lot of people and sign a lot of autographs and roll in a Town Car. Well, I'd make the same choices again. Might stop back for a visit some time though.



3. Given the choice of five years in a state penitentiary or informing to the police on your acquaintances illegal activities, what would you do?

I would photograph my most-likely-to-crack friend patching the bullet holes in the side of the house, so that I would have leverage to make sure he did not want to talk to the police and our stories would match if we had to. There is always a choice besides enslavement or losing your soul. Just gotta think out of the box. At heart, I suppose I am an optimist (and a lawyer's kid like you) and I always believe there is another option, if the ones before me are loathsome.



4. What is the ugliest thing you see every day? (Or almost every day.)

That net photo of the guy pulling open his bleeding asshole with both hands.



5. What is the last object you threw (not tossed), and for what reason?

My mouse. My hand hurt from working too much and the mouse was not performing up to expectations and needed to be taught a lesson.

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Party Time

Some jerk stole my bank card number and bought stuff I would not buy with it. For example, they actually bought a membership to someone I know (who comps me)'s site. Argh. I've had to use the musty old physical night drop at my bank and so they lost my deposits. I went in today and, after a bit under two hours, they found my missing checks. I can't believe the banking system would let someone shop with my card when they did not have my name or address or number or even I think expiration date or bank name right.

My bank eventually saw the error of their ways and gave me some of my dough and I should have a new card soon. So now I am going to get Forrest to come out and paint the town red with me.

Mad Max's hot sister is naked on my roof

I just posted a few new sets to Gothic Sluts. I'm particularly pleased with this one shot on my roof:



In other news, I think I'm getting a cold and my jaw hurts. I just finished reading Cynthia Heimel's new book and it sort of depressed me that she didn't find true love for more than a few minutes in the time since Sex Tips for Girls.

Is it Gothic to listen to a dead guy rapping, "I'm a typa nigga who's built to last"?

Transvestite Hooker's Lovechild says, "I'll be back"

So it appears that both Arnold Schwartenegger and Jerry Springer are considering running for public office. Looks like they are both eyeballing governor slots. I've thought Harrison Ford should run for president for a long time now.

Cocaine is a better preservative than 40s

Whoa. I just turned on the TV so I would hear when Insomniac comes on and it was on I think FOX and O'Reilly was playing an Eminem clip on something called "The Pulse" and then it cuts to O'Reilly saying that in ten years rap will be a dinosaur but Stevie Nicks is forever. Cut to Stevie clip.

How surreal is that. And how indicative that the man has no values, just a problem with aging poorly. I doubt that there is more than 2% intersection of values between that self-aggrandizing creep and the blonde singer he'd like to get with.

Club Drunk

Wow. How surreal. Masuimi Max and I think Lucifire are on the web site Club Drunk. Somehow I doubt most of their members really get the whole performance. They can probably appreciate breasts though I guess.

Pigs, Chickens, Loathing, and Espresso

I hate people who think the barter system means that they trade a pig for six chickens and then, after they have eaten the six chickens, they demand their pig back.

I hate when people have sixteen different online personas. And some of their personas have really rotten personalities. But if you seem like maybe you don't like just one of those personas, then all fifteen other personas and the real life person decide to hate you forever.

I hate supposed pals who come crying to me to defend them when someone is mean to them. Then I am down on the person who was mean to my alleged friend, on my friend's account, not because I even necessarily have a relationship with the person. And then my theoretical associate decides to be friends with the person they wanted to be defended from . . . and likes me less because their new friend doesn't.

I hate people who start a project because they are inspired by a project of mine and then try to start drama, when really they could just appreciate that which inspired them.

I hate people I've done favors for who make up lies about me.

I hate that there are people who should know better who believe lies about me.

I hate people whose guilty consciences make them think I am talking about them when I am not.

I hate that my espresso machine is broken and I can't decide if I want to stop drinking coffee long term or buy a new machine.

It's all good

Just finished a Gothic Sluts update:



I love this picture.

After having been to the chiropracter almost every day this week, my back is starting to feel right again.

My best bud gave me a gift certificate for a spa which gives all sorts of special massages.

I have leftover bbq in the oven heating up right now and South Park on DVD.

I'm feeling pretty darn good right now.

I Don't Like Mondays

I just saw some knob on a message board saying that media coverage of school shooting must be down because emo was becoming more popular than goth and kids were taking more Zoloft.

I know I shouldn't take the bait on this, but I must vent:

The kids who shot things up in Columbine did not consider themselves gothic. They did not like gothic music. They did not dress in gothic fashions. They did not like Marilyn Manson.

They were given prescription medications by supposedly trained psych professionals.

The media just felt that calling it a gothic mansonite plot would be easier for the average person to get his or her brain around than explaining complex subcultural issues. Now the public is bored of hearing about pissed-off school kids so the media is covering something else.

People's ignorance on the topic makes me want to listen to Dashboard Confessional and shoot people.

Life of Vice



Some photography Forrest Black and I did of the always perfect Szandora is featured on the new Life of Vice site. If you feel like looking at a bunch of free pictures, some of which are very cool, and some of which . . . well, they are on interesting topics . . . then trundle on over to check out the new site. WARNING: In case the name Life of Vice was not enough of a hint, this is a not-safe-for-work site.

Love, Amelia G

American Express is everywhere you want to be

Continuing the Bret Easton Ellis Theme . . .



Okay, the owner of this site gave me permission to post this picture, so long as I linked to his stuff. Does anyone besides me think it is funny that you can get to jerk off to this site for free or just look at the pictures for an hour for FREE. Of course, once that free hour is up, you have to PAY. Did I mention that the name of the site is COKE WHORES?

Listening to old NIN and Skold right now. This is the sort of thing which swayed me from a Rules of Attraction life. Probably a good thing. Except for the dough I guess.

Please pass the existential angst and the mirror and a line of 80's optimism. . .

Just watched Rules of Attraction on DVD. Sort of shot some promo for it, which supposedly their PR people loved, so I figured I should see the actual flick sooner or later. I really liked the book when I read it, which was while I was attending a small New England university. I liked the book so much that I kept reading other books by Bret Easton Ellis with the notion that it was conceivable I would like another one. Generally, his characters have such ennui that I get bored and distracted part way through and am as unmotivated as his characters to finish their lives. Yes, there are a few hilarious moments in American Psycho, but they are early on and I finally got too bored to read every long-ass description of male cosmetic products and sex murders. And I was reading American Psycho on a really dull contract assignment, which I was grotesquely overqualified for, or I probably would have gotten less far into the book.

Still I loved Rules of Attraction. The movie didn't feel that related to the book. One of my favorite scenes in the book involves the main character trying dispiritedly to jerk off to Playboy and realizing that these women who once seemed sophisticated, older, and out of reach were now younger than he is. In the movie, he just makes a quick reference to jerking off to internet porn which didn't exist at the time the book was written. But either way it was an entertaining movie. Eric Stoltz gets a "hummer" and I've never seen Ian Somerhalder before, but damn is he fucking hot.

I think they should make a Scarface consummables game for Rules of Attraction the movie. Gotta drink Jack when the characters do, masturbate when they do, videotape fucking, abstain from meaningful sex, complain about the essential loneliness of the human condition when they do, do lines until you nose bleeds, and tell your game playing companions to act out the following scene from the movie:

Rupert: Ya want some coke?
Sean Bateman: Um. Sure.
Rupert: Then get some of your own, bitch!

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