Tidying My Human Relations

Once upon a time, there was a girl I was really close friends with. We were closer times when she didn't have a boyfriend because she was one of those chicks who really really adapts to her man and sometimes likes to rewrite history in the process. But we were tight in varying degrees for twelve years. Early this month, I found myself wondering what to get her for her birthday and then realized that it had been years since that was an issue. Earlier today, I sort of dumped someone I wasn't even dating because I obviously was not going to be able to be friends without sexual tension. I started speaking to my father again this year, partly because I got some new information about the things which upset me and partly because he was coming up on the age his father died at. I thought I would want to talk things out with him, but really I just wanted to be able to say hello to him from time to time, hear his voice on the phone. I've found a bunch of people from past lives through journal stuff. Makes me want to be more personal and real here. Really trying to figure things out and tidy up my human relations. I wish I could talk to my grandmother about what I'm thinking about, what I'm going through. I think she would get it. Of course, she is dead and she went crazy before that. Just found out an ugly family secret about what killed her which is really fucking with my head. Anyway, I hope my old girlfriend calls me or emails back because I just dropped her a line. Not that I want to tell her about the other things I wrote here. I just want to get my house in order and that human contact is part of it.

Maybe this is too personal, but I can always delete it later and post some tittie pictures.