I woke up because two cars made a huge noise crashing right outside my window.
It was earthquake weather which makes me as freaked out as any wild animal.
Day before yesterday I tried putting wheat back into my elimination diet and confirmed what the bloodwork already said which is that I'm allergic to fucking wheat at this point. So my skin got all red and irritated and I felt really headachey and feverish the day before yesterday. Which means I got to start yesterday having missed sending some paperwork to my lawyer and having missed an ad deadline and having missed scheduling a shoot, those being the main things on my to-do list for the day.
So I was jittery from car wreck and earthquake and having eaten food I'm allergic to and was kicking myself for not being able to work when totally ill.
So I go down my friends list and I swear almost every post was a "in summary my life is a failure" or "hopefully the new meds will make this bearable" or "hellish detail of divorce" type of thing.
I went to post something supportive in a journal belonging to someone I've known for many years and came across a flurry of posts from someone who totally betrayed my friendship. And who, last time I saw them, told me that they totally didn't give a damn about the person whose journal they were posting in yesterday, that the guy was a loser who would never have what it took to live in Los Angeles and couldn't even get hard for some anal sex. Managed to restrain myself from clicking over to their journal. More because I knew how boring it would be than that I lacked morbid curiousity. But it still irritated me because I had managed to not think of them at all in quite a while and seeing their ugly icon made me think all over again about whether I should have told them what they did wrong instead of just hoping they would change in a positive way and the bad things they did could be water under the bridge. Plus I hate the thing where people talk really brutal smack behind someone's back and then act like they are a supportive friend to their face.
Sorry I was a little cranky, Xtian. I strongly prefer that people not ask me about picture stuff that way in this venue, but I was feeling sucky and behind the eightball already and I absolutely feel the way I said, but I don't feel that way at quite the Spinal Tap eleven I expressed it at yesterday.
Then some stranger in LJ was making comments about Szandora being too popular. Yeah, whatever that means.
Then I had to spend a few hours dealing with a business banking problem too complex and boring to detail, but suffice it to say that is was stressful and irritating.
Then I had a beverage fortified with a lot of vitamin C and had intense kidney and general abdominal pain. I knew I couldn't take the pills any more and I've had this reaction before, but never so severe and only to the pills, not to just a drink.
Eating is my favorite thing and I am so tired of having to be so careful about it. Just the stress of not knowing what fucked new chemical sensitivity my body will come up with makes mealtime less fun.
This morning I started the day waking up dehydrated from being so sick last night. Then I got an email that there might be a problem with my New Year's reservations in Vegas for the Blue Blood crew. Hopefully I ironed that out already. I'm going to drink water, attempt to eat something, and hopefully go back to sleep soon.
