I meant to post this before.

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I just saw some more candid pictures of me taken in Vegas two weeks ago. I am so on a juice fast for the next couple of days and then I am going to make a new schedule with my personal trainer. I live in Los Angeles.

I had a really awesome shoot yesterday with Scar. She is such an excellent model and human being. I hope she won the contest she was in last night. She probably did.

Hmmm, perhaps a Scar and Szandora shoot . . .

Thought for the day:
Something I really detest about human nature is that a lot of people find it painful to be grateful, so they end up demonizing anyone who does them a favor which is too big to be repaid in kind. They do not understand the concept of appreciation or paying it forward, so they choose to be hateful instead of grateful.

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Okay, just made an appointment to see the surgeon again. Why can't I heal?

I had all four of my wisdom teeth out almost a year ago and the empty sockets still hurt like a bitch when it rains and around my time of the month and if I chew in the back of my mouth and if I get stressed out and clench or grind my teeth.

I went to an expensive Beverly Hills doctor who had worked on someone I know.

I got twilight anaesthsia for the removal which means you are sort of unconscious and should not remember it, but over time I keep remembering more of the surgery like a dream flowing back into your mind later in the day -- ONLY REALLY REALLY HORRIBLE. Every time I feel a twinge of pain in my jaw, it reminds me of the horror.

Beforehand, I asked them to put the IV in my left arm because, being an internet girl, I wanted to be able to use my mouse arm afterwards. They couldn't get a big enough vein on my left arm. After being stuck repeatedly unsuccessfully, I told them to go ahead and use the right. I ended up with giant bruised track marks all over both arms. So I looked like a junkie for some time afterwards. I also almost died afterwards because I had some kind of a reaction to the medication or the surgery atrauma and could not even keep water down for two days. I broke my sutures vomiting violently and wow did that hurt. Finally the doctor prescribed an antiemetic to keep me out of the ER.

Needless to say, no ability to eat food or swallow water means no pain killers. I had rented a bunch of summer blockbuster type movies to watch while zonked on painkillers after the surgery. I think Spielberg movies really lose something when you are wishing someone would amputate your head through the whole thing. I used to love mashed potatoes and now they disgust me because they were the first thing I tried to eat after the surgery. I will also never watch the Jurassic Park sequels now.

Okay, okay, I guess I could post some pretty pictures in my journal too. Here are two shots from my most recent shoot with my girl Szandora. The rest of them I just posted to GothicSluts.com She is conditioning the pink in her spectacular hair here. Szandora rules!





--Amelia G

Wow, it looks like Evil Dead 13.
I am bad at cleaning.
I hope that is not blood.
Err, I hope not all of that is blood.

So, I know LJ is probably a place where everyone will say talk about it, but . . .

If I disagree with someone on something or if someone disagrees with me, I prefer it if I can directly discuss my concern with the other person or they can directly discuss their concern with me. Matters discussed directly can be worked out. Problems can be solved.

I feel like, when there is a relationship between two people of even minor depth, then how could other people know all of the details. I mean, if you meet a celeb for five minutes and you tell people about it, you can supply all of the details of the interaction and someone listening to the story could be totally objective if you were totally honest and presented an unbiased account. See what I mean? Even that would be stretching it. But when two people have a long series of protracted interactions which combine artistic stuff and business stuff and personal stuff . . . well, I feel like it is pretty difficult for a third party to make a fair assessment of what went down without having to know a lot of details.

I also sort of tend to think that people who rush to announce "their side" in public, when there is an ongoing issue, well . . . I think those are guilty people who think that anyone who knew a complete account would know they are wrong. I suspect I am not the only person who thinks this way.

So, if someone posts or otherwise releases an incomplete and misleading statement about me, should I assume that people reading it or hearing it will know it is a load of rubbish? Should I release a more complete account of events? Should I pursue legal action, even if the person doesn't have any $$, just to make the point that I am in the right even though a win would be a moral victory only? Should I do nothing and fret about it without naming names in my LJ?

So, I just tried to take a quiz to see what level of hell I am banished to and it told me that it had been taken down for causing server load problems. Then I tried to take another one and it crashed my browser before telling me what Ralph Wiggums quote I am. I think the world is trying to tell me that it is fine with the fact that I don't do quiz posts.

Today is No Pants Day
Although every day is kinda No Pants Day around here, apparently May 2 is officially No Pants Day some places:
http://www.nopantsday.com/

There are some people who have been trying to get me to do work without compensating me as agreed. Last night, I told two of them that I was done being taken advantage of by them.

Company #1: More than a year past due on paying hundreds of dollars. More than a year past due on returning $3,500 worth of prints belonging to me and Forrest. Actually told me that I needed to do twice as much writing and twice as much photography for them now and they also wanted me to do publicity for them.

Company #2: Really thought I could trust these guys, but they are past due and telling everyone else they work with that they are planning on effing me over, but ssh don't tell Amelia.

Telling these two that enough is enough feels better than I thought it would. Frees up some of my time too.

Just got off the phone with the new Beverly Hills attorney I am retaining. Tra la la. May will be better than April.

--Amelia G

So, my brother tells me that the reason people whining about how busy they are while inconveniencing other people makes me so aggro . . . well, he tells me that I really am too busy. He suggests that I slow the fuck down and smell the roses and stop driving myself so hard that almost everyone else seems lazy to me. He also pointed out strenuously that I need to stop worrying so much about helping other people and pay attention to when they are taking too much out of me. I gotta admit he has a point. Or two. But this means that something has to go. I need to make lists for the next few days I think and figure out what all I do with my time and then take a sincere look at surgically removing some of the cancer from my schedule. My bro is so right that I should take more time to just chill, drink coffee with friends, keep in touch with folks I like and care about, read a book, go to the gym, travel for pleasure, watch a music video without stressing about the three minutes I could have been working.

So what do I do?

Journalistic art photography
Journalistic writing
Fiction writing
Screenwriting
Magazine editing
Site editing
Event promotion
Erotic art photography
Commercial photography
Site promotion
Publishing consulting
Site updating
Design

Sheesh. I can't decide whether I should try to break this all down into some sort of giant list of component parts. Some of these things would be easier if I just stopped doing them entirely. Some of them I probably just need to trim down a little. Food for thought. I'm sure thinking about it, but I haven't figured out what to do yet.

--Amelia G

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One of my biggest pet peeves is people who go on and on about how they are just too busy to do whatever. It makes me see red. My head spins on my neck 666 times. I vomit pea soup. I wonder why I'm losing my stomach lining.

There are some of my compatriots in Los Angeles who really do not have any more time they could make. Not too many. But some.

I just had to deal with a problem where a designer I work with claimed that he would not have time to swap one picture for another in a layout any time this week. Even though this would be potentially extremely costly for the publisher. Even though the reason that anything needed to be changed at all is because this designer pushed the line on what was acceptable when he knew what the rules were. Without him having pushed things, this swap would not have been needed. Supposedly, however, this guy's part time job was just so time-consuming. Only this production edit was really really really important and lot of people's future situations were on the line. So Forrest came in to save the day and said he would do this other person's work. Suddenly the designer decided he could actually do it after all. The guy was too busy if it was just really important to other people, but he was not too busy if it looked like he could be replaced.

The real irony here is that the publisher told me point blank that he would fire this lazy designer's ass in a heartbeat if I wanted him to. This was when the designer first caused the problem And I was all like no, no, we'll work it out so everyone is happy. And I haven't slept for a week while I've been trying to keep up with my usual schedule while interfacing with various concerned parties. And we finally hammer out a solution where everyone is a little bummed but mostly happy. And the guy who caused the problem in the first place is too busy.

--Amelia G

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I bought this gardenia sachet thing while I was in Beverly Hills doing an attorney meeting. I only go to Beverly Hills to meet with doctors, lawyers, and bankers and once in a while to eat. Usually just to meet with professionals. The area has really good shopping, though, so sometimes I buy dumb impulse stuff while there. The gardenia sachet thing is this pretty glittery little bag filled with rocks which smell really good and I think aggravate my allergies. I went to the Terri King fashion show last night. The fashion part was scheduled for very early in the evening, so I was in a hurry to leave the house. I was eating these precooked dill mustard shrimp they make at my local supermarket. And I left the plastic container with the shells on my desk.

Gardenias and rotten shrimp. All I need to do is engage in some watersports and spit some booze around the room and I will have my own private New Orleans.

--Amelia G