So I mentioned the Blue Blood Boutique to my mom and she acted like it was really weird that I would get into clothing. I pointed out to her that we sold thousands and thousands of Blue Blood T-shirts and such when I was doing the magazine version, so launching a similar project to go with the internet version was hardly a major departure. I was really excited that the hoodies totally sold out and had to be reordered almost immediately after launch. I wanted to tell my mom about a good thing which happened and she somehow managed to imply that me continuing successfully with a successful business was irresponsible. In case anyone was wondering why I am a workaholic, there is your explanation in one easy anecdote.
For some reason, this Thanksgiving time period was a weird alignment of planets such that I received really surreal emails and phone calls from more than a dozen people from various time periods in my life. The gist of all of them was more or less to check on our connection, emotional, artistic, or professional. A lot of them asked hard questions.
Only I took one day off for Thanksgiving and gave myself a few days slack around the time of Thanksgiving on messages or email. Plus my cell phone has been kind of jacked up. I should buy a new one, but I want to keep my number and this always involves me showing my cell company the error of their ways and compelling them to let me keep it. And I just don't have the time or energy for that right now. So, anyway, I took a few days where I didn't immediately compose responses to hard questions and every single one of these people started contacting me repeatedly. It kind of freaked me out.
I wish people could wait for others to think for a fucking minute before responding. Either that, or be more chill about what might be said off the cuff, without contemplation.
I feel like, in this digital age, a lot of people do everything under an anonymous cloak and deny responsibility. But somehow I didn't foresee the way most people would interact and every fucking thing I say goes down on my permanent record. Like other people can be egregiously two-faced and say the worst fucking things, but somehow it was just their internet avatar or something being a cunt, so all should be forgiven. But, if I am a bit short with someone one day, I will have to hear about it for fucking ever.
And here is another thing I hate about internet modes of communication. I feel like I can't type a list of my blessings here, but I can stand up and complain about my curses.
Which reminds me, speaking of curses, this chick I used to be friends with said something really stupid and hurtful and fake and I wished that being such a selfish phony two-faced idiot gave her the headache it would give me, if I lived in such a constant state of cognitive dissonance. And I just heard she has had a migraine for months, starting when I wished that.
I don't believe in magic, but I do get what I wish for pretty often. Except sometimes if I wish for the world to be a better place.
Sometimes I am really sad about lost human connections. I've moved so often. I wish I could go to a high school reunion, but my various high schools don't have them. At least, I don't think they do. I just got put on my university mailing list, but they mostly just ask me for more money and I kind of think the dough they got was already too much.
Anyway, I had a really great Thanksgiving with family and friends. And some damn good turkey and sides.
