Sometimes I feel like there is a sign on my head which everyone but me can read. It says, "don't keep your end of the bargain and complain about her afterwards if she doesn't like it."
--Amelia G
Thursday, February 06, 2003
Did good darkroom work today for the first time in a long time. Had to drive to slightly beyond the edge of the earth to get there, but it was worth it. The crazy-making chemistry is better ventilated at this one than it has been at some. Had a really cool camera rig rented which I had to give back at three something this afternoon, so we managed to cram in one more shoot today. I use my equipment so hard that a lot of it is broken. I need some new stuff. Sleepy time now.
--Amelia G
--Amelia G
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
I got some sleep earlier today, but here I am haunting the house in the wee hours again.
A long time ago my brother was up past his bedtime, kneeling on the couch playing a video game and, when his guy died, he reared up and slapped himself on the forehead . . . and fell forward smashing his head on the marble coffee table. He then sat back down, saying don't tell mom, and started a new game . . . with blood streaming down his face. When the blood reached his eyes and he realized, we both agreed that maybe we should go ahead and tell mom. He had to get stitches and has a scar to this day.
--Amelia G
A long time ago my brother was up past his bedtime, kneeling on the couch playing a video game and, when his guy died, he reared up and slapped himself on the forehead . . . and fell forward smashing his head on the marble coffee table. He then sat back down, saying don't tell mom, and started a new game . . . with blood streaming down his face. When the blood reached his eyes and he realized, we both agreed that maybe we should go ahead and tell mom. He had to get stitches and has a scar to this day.
--Amelia G
Monday, February 03, 2003
Yay! I got our hacker problem fixed. I got our hacker problem fixed! Finally, finally, finally! I'd dance a jig if I were not so exhausted. I was asleep by 2am tonight, but was awakened by a neighbor's amazingly loud sex. I was peeved at the time, but now I want to go over and wake her ass up and thank her profusely. I am sooooooo happy. Okay, I still need to reissue a whole lot of username/password combos, but they will be secure once I do.
Yum, I am eating organic blueberry baby yogurt. Baby stuff has less sugar and carbs than regular and tastes better too. Blueberry is a tasty new flavor of it.
I had a good shoot tonight with two very cool friends who I'm going to put in Swag I'm so pleased to have another venue to support my friends in. This past year definitely had the Nietzsche life improvement plan going. But it actually has made me focus more on stuff that makes me happy, spend more time on stuff that I enjoy, and it helped me shed a lot of dead weight which was dragging me down. It always hurts to find out that someone you thought you could believe in would sell you out for a donut, but it is always better to know who your friends really are.
I'm trying to think of who the best entertainment would be for the Swag release party, but it is hard to come up with what would be perfect. Of course there are a bunch of bands I like, but it is difficult to pick just one that would be a perfect fit thematically for the new magazine. My first choice was inconsiderate enough to break up.
--Amelia G
Yum, I am eating organic blueberry baby yogurt. Baby stuff has less sugar and carbs than regular and tastes better too. Blueberry is a tasty new flavor of it.
I had a good shoot tonight with two very cool friends who I'm going to put in Swag I'm so pleased to have another venue to support my friends in. This past year definitely had the Nietzsche life improvement plan going. But it actually has made me focus more on stuff that makes me happy, spend more time on stuff that I enjoy, and it helped me shed a lot of dead weight which was dragging me down. It always hurts to find out that someone you thought you could believe in would sell you out for a donut, but it is always better to know who your friends really are.
I'm trying to think of who the best entertainment would be for the Swag release party, but it is hard to come up with what would be perfect. Of course there are a bunch of bands I like, but it is difficult to pick just one that would be a perfect fit thematically for the new magazine. My first choice was inconsiderate enough to break up.
--Amelia G
Sunday, February 02, 2003
Since my LJ got suspended, I've been feeling a little disconnected in the online world, so I've been yakking a bunch on various boards, in particular this one really addictive adult webmaster board. I think it is poetically beautiful that someone who feels competitive with me from a business perspective forced me to do more online business interaction in place of my social online interaction. It has actually been pretty fun to talk to other people who know about some of that stuff. It is only part of what I do, even though the competive jerks put everything they have into their sites. Because the webmaster types I know in real life are all inclined to do things like brag aggressively about how they are so huge they get a thousand visitors . . . a month, it has been really nice to talk to people who understand the weirdness of trying to think of ways to promote your site at 3am when you have insomnia, but who do not really get my fetishes for the most part. A guy on one board said, trying to be helpful, that he thought Gothic Sluts was just too "abstract a concept." hee hee
--Amelia G
--Amelia G
Monday, January 27, 2003
Went to a fashion show hosted by Clint Catalyst last night. Met some cool new designers. Also ran into Mark Splatter, Veronica, and Divaluxe. Was going to meet them at Good Luck Bar afterwards, but I lallygagged. For some reason, I had thought that place was in West Hollywood, but it appears to actually be in Silverlake and not that far east of me.
Need to do some last minute assigning of writers for Swag today. I'm not really awake enough to do it yet though. I wish I had slept a little later. My alarm was not set to go off until I needed to meet with my trainer, but I woke up abruptly hours early. I think I was doing the teeth-grinding thing. Even good things can cause stress and I know I need to get a night guard again. It is just that the dentist I've been going to was recommended by the guy who took out my wisdom teeth and my wisdome teeth sockets just will not heal. Partly I am not sure I want to go to a dentist recommended by him. Maybe he did the best job possible and there was no way to know that the anaesthesia would almost kill me and maybe my mouth was just not going to heal properly with any speed. But it is hard to be confident. Plus, I am loathe to have the stuff to mold the night guard in my mouth when the sockets already hurt so much with nothing in my mouth. Besides, I know lots of people with acute TMJ who sleep without a night guard. My dad claims that his TMJ is mysterious because he does not think he grinds his teeth. Technically, I suppose I mostly clench, rather than grinding exactly, but do that for years and I'm not sure there is that big a difference. The oral experts get rich either way.
Note: In this context when I say "oral expert" I do not mean model/actress/kinda pricey hooker; I mean dentist/orthodontist/oral surgeon/pain clinic neurologist.
--Amelia G
Need to do some last minute assigning of writers for Swag today. I'm not really awake enough to do it yet though. I wish I had slept a little later. My alarm was not set to go off until I needed to meet with my trainer, but I woke up abruptly hours early. I think I was doing the teeth-grinding thing. Even good things can cause stress and I know I need to get a night guard again. It is just that the dentist I've been going to was recommended by the guy who took out my wisdom teeth and my wisdome teeth sockets just will not heal. Partly I am not sure I want to go to a dentist recommended by him. Maybe he did the best job possible and there was no way to know that the anaesthesia would almost kill me and maybe my mouth was just not going to heal properly with any speed. But it is hard to be confident. Plus, I am loathe to have the stuff to mold the night guard in my mouth when the sockets already hurt so much with nothing in my mouth. Besides, I know lots of people with acute TMJ who sleep without a night guard. My dad claims that his TMJ is mysterious because he does not think he grinds his teeth. Technically, I suppose I mostly clench, rather than grinding exactly, but do that for years and I'm not sure there is that big a difference. The oral experts get rich either way.
Note: In this context when I say "oral expert" I do not mean model/actress/kinda pricey hooker; I mean dentist/orthodontist/oral surgeon/pain clinic neurologist.
--Amelia G
Sunday, January 26, 2003
Came back from Melrose and Retail Slut and intended to jump right on the computer and work on stuff for Swag Went to karaoke at a local establishment first instead. Very disturbing. However, damn, Michelle Rodriguez is even hotter in person than she is on screen. And she is pretty hot on screen. A certain lead singer and I were all checking out her ass filling out the butt cleavage jeans. In real life, that girl has awesome style and presence too. When she first came up and said cheers, she thought I said my name was Millionaire, but we both agreed that Amelia is much better. She said anyone named Millionare would be too materialistic, at least for her. I think anyone rocking that name would probably be both materialistic and failing at it. Or else they'd have to have really odd parents.
--Amelia G
--Amelia G
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
I am really stoked about this new project. I'm going to write more later about my hopes for it, but for now you can visit Swag and check out the cool site Forrest built for our fab new mag! I am so pleased to be moving back into print publishing.
--Amelia G
So, I must have been feeling the rumblings of some sort of psychic premonition of doom. The day after I duplicated my LJ to Blogger, LJ suspended my journal for a month because someone with a site which thinks it is competitive with one of mine basically complained that I exist. Apparently LJ has a rule that you can not link to a site which pulls in revenue or could potentially pull in revenue of any kind. This means that if you have a personal site with a cam on it and you accept paypal tips, then linking to it is an LJ no-no. This means that if you work for a big company, you can not link your job. Does not matter that it is part of what you do on a daily basis, it is against the rules. I feel that everyone is entitled to make their own rules, but the thing which is really rotten about LJ's rules is that they are only enforced when someone complains. This basically means that a person such as me could behave in a manner totally consistent with how everyone else in the community is behaving, but just one envious person can get your diary shut down by complaining. Because everyone is in violation, you are always at risk. I sure would be a lot more upset about this if not for the fact that (1) I had just backed almost everything up and (2) the reason they wanted to nuke my journal was to prevent me from announcing the really exciting new project I've got going on.
And you know that when the haters are making an extra effort, then you must be doing well. :-)
And you know that when the haters are making an extra effort, then you must be doing well. :-)
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
People often seem to be surprised that I am not a tougher negotiater on the front end when making a deal. People also often seem surprised that I
am so hardline on the back end once a deal has been made. Some of my views were undoubtedly formed growing up with an attorney for a father.
Here is what I've learned about contracts, probably both from my daddy and from pop songs :
1. The purpose of a contract is so that everybody knows what they agreed to.
2. Everything is negotiable until you have signed on the dotted line.
3. You always have to be willing to get up from the table and walk away.
4. Once you've signed on the dotted line, you keep your word and you stick to the deal.
5. If you do not like how the deal works out, #2 and #3 are always your own responsibility, not the other guy's, and next time you should make a
different deal or walk away.
--Amelia
am so hardline on the back end once a deal has been made. Some of my views were undoubtedly formed growing up with an attorney for a father.
Here is what I've learned about contracts, probably both from my daddy and from pop songs :
1. The purpose of a contract is so that everybody knows what they agreed to.
2. Everything is negotiable until you have signed on the dotted line.
3. You always have to be willing to get up from the table and walk away.
4. Once you've signed on the dotted line, you keep your word and you stick to the deal.
5. If you do not like how the deal works out, #2 and #3 are always your own responsibility, not the other guy's, and next time you should make a
different deal or walk away.
--Amelia
Sunday, January 19, 2003
Vegas is always a party and going for a bondage convention just made it that much more of a fun party weekend. Forrest Black and I had a booth to exhibit our photography and our happy niche media empire of http://www.blueblood.net/ and http://www.barelyevil.com/ and http://www.gothicsluts.com/ I think the weekend was productive, but I know it was fun. I just posted a gallery of pictures from our exhibit booth at BondCon to Blue Blood at http://www.blueblood.net/gallery/bondconsnaps/
--Amelia G
Saturday, January 18, 2003
HOB=so not punk; valet, tippable bathroom attendants & a room people pay $3,000 for access to (I've always gotten in free 'cause I'm just so darn cool.)
In fact went to see Social D tonight. Seeing shows in Los Angeles at the House of Blues is kind of not punk rock enough for an event like that. I kept thinking how incredible that show would have been at the old 930 Club in DC where you could have a real pit. I'm pretty teeny, so I used to be a champion crowd surfer. House of Blues normally throws out anyone who moshes, slams, crowd surfs, stage dives etc. Although Jonny "Two Bags" Wickersham denied any knowledge of this, I think Social D actually had a special rider of some sort where audience members were warned once to stop and not thrown out unless they did it again.
So I'm being all suave at the Social D reserved table on the balconey. Only I was hungry so I ordered the catfish nuggets as well as some water. I know how to stage dive, but I sure don't know how to eat sit down food at a concert. So the catfish nuggets gave me a stomach ache and I was sitting there swallowing Pepcid caplets and then I dropped my water in my lap. Suave all right!
Forrest Black says he thinks he would like House of Blues better if he were older and physically incapable of getting into a real pit. Personally the show made me feel a thousand years old. Mike Ness pulled the three youngest kids in the audience up on stage and gave a really moving speech about the old school and the new school and leaving a legacy, having had a reason for having lived. For a moment, I kind of wanted to be the busty thirteen-year-old with the mohawk who was so completely in the head space of being at the show. How did I get from wearing ripped jeans and used combat boots and cheap lingeries and getting covered with sweat at shows to sitting on the balconey embarressing myself by soaking my Mandy Black Blest shirt, Betsy Johnson skirt, and New Rocks? It was a really fun show though. It reminded me of a lot of what excited me about this stuff in the first place. Anyway, here is a happy shout out to Jonny, Brandise, and Jeremy for the hook-up for a fun show. :-) Afterwards, we went to a friend's studio and just chilled for a while.
Now I need to settle down to get some sleep.
--Amelia G
In fact went to see Social D tonight. Seeing shows in Los Angeles at the House of Blues is kind of not punk rock enough for an event like that. I kept thinking how incredible that show would have been at the old 930 Club in DC where you could have a real pit. I'm pretty teeny, so I used to be a champion crowd surfer. House of Blues normally throws out anyone who moshes, slams, crowd surfs, stage dives etc. Although Jonny "Two Bags" Wickersham denied any knowledge of this, I think Social D actually had a special rider of some sort where audience members were warned once to stop and not thrown out unless they did it again.
So I'm being all suave at the Social D reserved table on the balconey. Only I was hungry so I ordered the catfish nuggets as well as some water. I know how to stage dive, but I sure don't know how to eat sit down food at a concert. So the catfish nuggets gave me a stomach ache and I was sitting there swallowing Pepcid caplets and then I dropped my water in my lap. Suave all right!
Forrest Black says he thinks he would like House of Blues better if he were older and physically incapable of getting into a real pit. Personally the show made me feel a thousand years old. Mike Ness pulled the three youngest kids in the audience up on stage and gave a really moving speech about the old school and the new school and leaving a legacy, having had a reason for having lived. For a moment, I kind of wanted to be the busty thirteen-year-old with the mohawk who was so completely in the head space of being at the show. How did I get from wearing ripped jeans and used combat boots and cheap lingeries and getting covered with sweat at shows to sitting on the balconey embarressing myself by soaking my Mandy Black Blest shirt, Betsy Johnson skirt, and New Rocks? It was a really fun show though. It reminded me of a lot of what excited me about this stuff in the first place. Anyway, here is a happy shout out to Jonny, Brandise, and Jeremy for the hook-up for a fun show. :-) Afterwards, we went to a friend's studio and just chilled for a while.
Now I need to settle down to get some sleep.
--Amelia G
Sugary Booze
Just got back from a session with my trainer and I had really good news on my answering machine and I feel excellent. Yesterday we had to cut it short after I had only done treadmill because I felt so sick. I was looking kind of pasty green. I don't really drink alcohol or eat processed sugar usually, but I sure did when I was in Vegas when we were exhibiting at BondCon. The convention hotel did not have the greatest food, so, although we went to good hotels with good restaurants every night, I ate Starbucks cookies for breakfast every day. Might have had a few buffet desserts too. The alcohol is self-explanatory and already covered. Yesterday's abortive workout reminded me why I usually don't do sugar and booze and definitely not sugary booze. I think I'm going to go touch up my hair color now. Maybe I will go to see Social Distortion tonight.
--Amelia G
Just got back from a session with my trainer and I had really good news on my answering machine and I feel excellent. Yesterday we had to cut it short after I had only done treadmill because I felt so sick. I was looking kind of pasty green. I don't really drink alcohol or eat processed sugar usually, but I sure did when I was in Vegas when we were exhibiting at BondCon. The convention hotel did not have the greatest food, so, although we went to good hotels with good restaurants every night, I ate Starbucks cookies for breakfast every day. Might have had a few buffet desserts too. The alcohol is self-explanatory and already covered. Yesterday's abortive workout reminded me why I usually don't do sugar and booze and definitely not sugary booze. I think I'm going to go touch up my hair color now. Maybe I will go to see Social Distortion tonight.
--Amelia G
Can I hire someone to sleep for me?
Had a great shoot yesterday and just finished another great shoot today. The stars just really seem to be aligning to make 2003 an excellent year. If I could just get a little bit of time to catch up on stuff and get some sleep.
I think the LJ icon for exhausted should not be so grumpy looking. I'm really happy right now, just also really wrecked.
--Amelia G
Had a great shoot yesterday and just finished another great shoot today. The stars just really seem to be aligning to make 2003 an excellent year. If I could just get a little bit of time to catch up on stuff and get some sleep.
I think the LJ icon for exhausted should not be so grumpy looking. I'm really happy right now, just also really wrecked.
--Amelia G
I heart my pillow
I have about a zillion things to do, but I am just exhausted. Plum tuckered out.
We did a really great shoot today and my place is tidy now, but I have cool site updates and anti-hacker crap to do. Plus I've got some magazine deadlines looming, a ridiculous number of emails to read and respond to, and a grotesque mountain of laundry.
And I need to get ready for a big announcement of an exciting new project I am working on.
Gah, I'm also seeing my trainer tomorrow for the first time in a week. I may be dead by this time tomorrow.
--Amelia G
I have about a zillion things to do, but I am just exhausted. Plum tuckered out.
We did a really great shoot today and my place is tidy now, but I have cool site updates and anti-hacker crap to do. Plus I've got some magazine deadlines looming, a ridiculous number of emails to read and respond to, and a grotesque mountain of laundry.
And I need to get ready for a big announcement of an exciting new project I am working on.
Gah, I'm also seeing my trainer tomorrow for the first time in a week. I may be dead by this time tomorrow.
--Amelia G
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