I miss my grandmother so much.

Went to a fashion show hosted by Clint Catalyst last night. Met some cool new designers. Also ran into Mark Splatter, Veronica, and Divaluxe. Was going to meet them at Good Luck Bar afterwards, but I lallygagged. For some reason, I had thought that place was in West Hollywood, but it appears to actually be in Silverlake and not that far east of me.

Need to do some last minute assigning of writers for Swag today. I'm not really awake enough to do it yet though. I wish I had slept a little later. My alarm was not set to go off until I needed to meet with my trainer, but I woke up abruptly hours early. I think I was doing the teeth-grinding thing. Even good things can cause stress and I know I need to get a night guard again. It is just that the dentist I've been going to was recommended by the guy who took out my wisdom teeth and my wisdome teeth sockets just will not heal. Partly I am not sure I want to go to a dentist recommended by him. Maybe he did the best job possible and there was no way to know that the anaesthesia would almost kill me and maybe my mouth was just not going to heal properly with any speed. But it is hard to be confident. Plus, I am loathe to have the stuff to mold the night guard in my mouth when the sockets already hurt so much with nothing in my mouth. Besides, I know lots of people with acute TMJ who sleep without a night guard. My dad claims that his TMJ is mysterious because he does not think he grinds his teeth. Technically, I suppose I mostly clench, rather than grinding exactly, but do that for years and I'm not sure there is that big a difference. The oral experts get rich either way.

Note: In this context when I say "oral expert" I do not mean model/actress/kinda pricey hooker; I mean dentist/orthodontist/oral surgeon/pain clinic neurologist.

--Amelia G

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Came back from Melrose and Retail Slut and intended to jump right on the computer and work on stuff for Swag Went to karaoke at a local establishment first instead. Very disturbing. However, damn, Michelle Rodriguez is even hotter in person than she is on screen. And she is pretty hot on screen. A certain lead singer and I were all checking out her ass filling out the butt cleavage jeans. In real life, that girl has awesome style and presence too. When she first came up and said cheers, she thought I said my name was Millionaire, but we both agreed that Amelia is much better. She said anyone named Millionare would be too materialistic, at least for her. I think anyone rocking that name would probably be both materialistic and failing at it. Or else they'd have to have really odd parents.

--Amelia G

Hmm, something about the blogger interface feels more like publishing. That is kind of cool. I just need to figure out how to get third party comments which don't make the page hang.

I am really stoked about this new project. I'm going to write more later about my hopes for it, but for now you can visit Swag and check out the cool site Forrest built for our fab new mag! I am so pleased to be moving back into print publishing.

--Amelia G

So, I must have been feeling the rumblings of some sort of psychic premonition of doom. The day after I duplicated my LJ to Blogger, LJ suspended my journal for a month because someone with a site which thinks it is competitive with one of mine basically complained that I exist. Apparently LJ has a rule that you can not link to a site which pulls in revenue or could potentially pull in revenue of any kind. This means that if you have a personal site with a cam on it and you accept paypal tips, then linking to it is an LJ no-no. This means that if you work for a big company, you can not link your job. Does not matter that it is part of what you do on a daily basis, it is against the rules. I feel that everyone is entitled to make their own rules, but the thing which is really rotten about LJ's rules is that they are only enforced when someone complains. This basically means that a person such as me could behave in a manner totally consistent with how everyone else in the community is behaving, but just one envious person can get your diary shut down by complaining. Because everyone is in violation, you are always at risk. I sure would be a lot more upset about this if not for the fact that (1) I had just backed almost everything up and (2) the reason they wanted to nuke my journal was to prevent me from announcing the really exciting new project I've got going on.

And you know that when the haters are making an extra effort, then you must be doing well. :-)

People often seem to be surprised that I am not a tougher negotiater on the front end when making a deal. People also often seem surprised that I
am so hardline on the back end once a deal has been made. Some of my views were undoubtedly formed growing up with an attorney for a father.
Here is what I've learned about contracts, probably both from my daddy and from pop songs :

1. The purpose of a contract is so that everybody knows what they agreed to.
2. Everything is negotiable until you have signed on the dotted line.
3. You always have to be willing to get up from the table and walk away.
4. Once you've signed on the dotted line, you keep your word and you stick to the deal.
5. If you do not like how the deal works out, #2 and #3 are always your own responsibility, not the other guy's, and next time you should make a
different deal or walk away.

--Amelia

Vegas is always a party and going for a bondage convention just made it that much more of a fun party weekend. Forrest Black and I had a booth to exhibit our photography and our happy niche media empire of http://www.blueblood.net/ and http://www.barelyevil.com/ and http://www.gothicsluts.com/ I think the weekend was productive, but I know it was fun. I just posted a gallery of pictures from our exhibit booth at BondCon to Blue Blood at http://www.blueblood.net/gallery/bondconsnaps/

--Amelia G

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HOB=so not punk; valet, tippable bathroom attendants & a room people pay $3,000 for access to (I've always gotten in free 'cause I'm just so darn cool.)

In fact went to see Social D tonight. Seeing shows in Los Angeles at the House of Blues is kind of not punk rock enough for an event like that. I kept thinking how incredible that show would have been at the old 930 Club in DC where you could have a real pit. I'm pretty teeny, so I used to be a champion crowd surfer. House of Blues normally throws out anyone who moshes, slams, crowd surfs, stage dives etc. Although Jonny "Two Bags" Wickersham denied any knowledge of this, I think Social D actually had a special rider of some sort where audience members were warned once to stop and not thrown out unless they did it again.

So I'm being all suave at the Social D reserved table on the balconey. Only I was hungry so I ordered the catfish nuggets as well as some water. I know how to stage dive, but I sure don't know how to eat sit down food at a concert. So the catfish nuggets gave me a stomach ache and I was sitting there swallowing Pepcid caplets and then I dropped my water in my lap. Suave all right!

Forrest Black says he thinks he would like House of Blues better if he were older and physically incapable of getting into a real pit. Personally the show made me feel a thousand years old. Mike Ness pulled the three youngest kids in the audience up on stage and gave a really moving speech about the old school and the new school and leaving a legacy, having had a reason for having lived. For a moment, I kind of wanted to be the busty thirteen-year-old with the mohawk who was so completely in the head space of being at the show. How did I get from wearing ripped jeans and used combat boots and cheap lingeries and getting covered with sweat at shows to sitting on the balconey embarressing myself by soaking my Mandy Black Blest shirt, Betsy Johnson skirt, and New Rocks? It was a really fun show though. It reminded me of a lot of what excited me about this stuff in the first place. Anyway, here is a happy shout out to Jonny, Brandise, and Jeremy for the hook-up for a fun show. :-) Afterwards, we went to a friend's studio and just chilled for a while.

Now I need to settle down to get some sleep.

--Amelia G

Sugary Booze

Just got back from a session with my trainer and I had really good news on my answering machine and I feel excellent. Yesterday we had to cut it short after I had only done treadmill because I felt so sick. I was looking kind of pasty green. I don't really drink alcohol or eat processed sugar usually, but I sure did when I was in Vegas when we were exhibiting at BondCon. The convention hotel did not have the greatest food, so, although we went to good hotels with good restaurants every night, I ate Starbucks cookies for breakfast every day. Might have had a few buffet desserts too. The alcohol is self-explanatory and already covered. Yesterday's abortive workout reminded me why I usually don't do sugar and booze and definitely not sugary booze. I think I'm going to go touch up my hair color now. Maybe I will go to see Social Distortion tonight.

--Amelia G

Can I hire someone to sleep for me?

Had a great shoot yesterday and just finished another great shoot today. The stars just really seem to be aligning to make 2003 an excellent year. If I could just get a little bit of time to catch up on stuff and get some sleep.

I think the LJ icon for exhausted should not be so grumpy looking. I'm really happy right now, just also really wrecked.

--Amelia G

I heart my pillow

I have about a zillion things to do, but I am just exhausted. Plum tuckered out.

We did a really great shoot today and my place is tidy now, but I have cool site updates and anti-hacker crap to do. Plus I've got some magazine deadlines looming, a ridiculous number of emails to read and respond to, and a grotesque mountain of laundry.

And I need to get ready for a big announcement of an exciting new project I am working on.

Gah, I'm also seeing my trainer tomorrow for the first time in a week. I may be dead by this time tomorrow.

--Amelia G

Vegas Rocks My World Yet Again!

I am wrecked, but my Vegas trip was soooooooooo awesome. Forrest Black and I brought Yolanda, Szandora, and Sabrina to be our booth babes. They were so much fun to hang out with and it was such a good mix of people. So many girls who model -- yes, even the really beautiful ones -- are competitive and insecure, but our three lovely pals were all totally cool and got along great. Our girls autographed lots of pictures. There were people who had driven hours just to come by our booth. We met this one cool blue-haired guy who does an extreme rocketry magazine. Forrest was like so what do you do and he said rocket scientist and he was not kidding. How cool is that! We stayed in the convention hotel for convenience, but it was sort of so so. So we hit tons of other hotels on the strip after we closed up our exhibit booth for the day. One of the hotels had a morph booth where you could see what your child would look like. Yolanda and Szandora had two lovely little blonde girls. I was a slut and had a love child with Forrest and with Sabrina. Forrest and I had a disturbingly wholesome and 70's-looking little boy and Sabrina and I had a nice little girl with black pigtails. Once we have all recovered enough to scan our children in, I will probably post them. Possibly on Blue Blood. We only brought a snapshot camera, but we did take funny snapshots of a lot of our friends. We took turns with Steve Diet Goedde taking unflattering snapshot pix in each others booths. Steve and Forrest and I were just fucking around, but I had a couple of photographers show me portfolios of what I guess for them was their serious work . . . and they actually had pictures shot past Forrest's or my elbow at events we shot at. Sheesh. Met a ton of cool new people though and reconnected with some terrific folks we have not seen in ages. Our old editor from Fetish is editing a magazine all about ass now. A bunch of us went to what Yolanda described as a "sausage bar" like the movie Coyote Ugly. Yolanda and Isabella Sinclaire and I were getting sugary yummy free drinks poured down our throats by a hardbodied dancer chick who held a towel under our chins so we would not dribble. It was not a great place to be a hot boi though, so Yolanda and Isabella stayed dancing on the bar, while the rest of us went for food. You can get a complete meal at any time of the day or night in Vegas and that is just the best. Speaking of food, it sounds like my lunch date is here, so I'm going to go munch. More later . . .

--Amelia G

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I'm sort of back (in Los Angeles anyway) and I'm having a really rotten day.

Oh yeah and this is going to be my last ebay auction for a long time. Stuff is going for pretty much the lowest it ever has. Two hours left to win some really cool magazines:

Gothic & Fetish Magazines on Ebay

--Amelia G

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Midnight Cooties

I'm working on New Year's resolutions right now. I think I am going to share midnight with Dave Attell on the tv as he is unlikely to try to touch me from there. Later on, I will probably go to two or three after-parties where the usual assortment of perverts and rock stars (ooh redundant) will not have the midnight excuse. I was pretty good about 2002's resolutions. I think I will go real old BLT articles I wrote about New Year's for inspiration.

--Amelia G

The night is yet young

Just went out to Bar Sinister and saw Dead Girls play a good show.

Last night I was supposed to go out to a new club and pick up new Blue Blood T-shirts with are by the talented Trevor Brown http://www.blueblood.net/store/ but I fell asleep instead. Of course, prior to that, my trainer cut our workout short because I turned all cold and ghostly white. I guess it is going to take a while to get in the shape I want to be in.

Why is it so like pulling teeth to get myself to go out at night, when it is usually fun? Only two people hit me up for stuff which would be free for them and expensive and time-consuming for me tonight. Whoo-hoo! Off to an after-party momentarily, so the night is yet young and perhaps there will be more. Just had to come home for an internet fix. I could quit any time I wanted though. I quit drinking coffee a couple of weeks ago. At least for the time-being.

--Amelia G

Legolas does the hanky panky

ARRRRRGH! I don't have confirmation yet as to whether any of my friends have gotten busy with Frodo, but I do know someone who got together with Legolas already. All my humorous exaggerations for effect are actually true.

--Amelia G

I wish female nude models would just say that they like my work and want to have an idealized beautiful version of themselves immortalized on film or whatever their actual motivation is. I feel like I used to just shoot my friends and members of my community who I had enough in common with that it was likely we would become friends.

I feel like now I constantly have to deal with girls who do that stripper thing of pretending they really really like me and want to be my friend and then they either don't invite me unless they want me to bring a fucking camera or they send me a bill for their theoretical friendship. Dressed models do not do this and male nude models do not do this.

I am an artist and I don't think I can hack how much of a competitive business this erotic photography thing has become.

Models change their minds and try to change the deal after we have already done it. Other photographers should be my colleagues, but they are mostly just competitive. If I talk about my motivations in an interview or whatever, I always see them being parrotted by some new membership site within a month. I have objections to many of the publications I could shoot for and the ones I really like shooting for, every competitive jerk I run across is trying to bump me from, as near as I can tell, mostly because I'm doing it.

I know the vast majority of people I deal with are cool and positive and I should focus on the two thousand plus cool people I have photographed and the thousands of images with happy stories and not on the handful or jerks I've worked with and the associated pix. And I know a lot of people take envy as a compliment.

Ugh, Before I completely transition from being really private to just being really irate, I think I will go back to bed.

--Amelia G

Punk rocker and a fanboy walk into a bar . . .

Having a Live Journal is like a really convenient way to babble existentially to strangers in a bar. Only without the alcohol, the bar ambiance, or the need to put pants on.

--Amelia G

Suburbia, Two Towers, Punks, Fen, & why I feel lost no matter what I do

Maybe I just saw a bad mix of movies in the past few days, but how did my life get where it is. I saw Suburbia on DVD and Two Towers in the theater. Those are both movies which take me back, for different reasons. So I'm examining the path I took to get from there to here and I just can't see it. So how can I figure out where to go from here.

The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings were really important books to me. I suppose if I had not had to get rid of the box set one of the times we moved, they would probably be quite collectible now. I remember convincing my school to fund a D&D club in high school and science fiction club and strategic games club in college. I remember the first time I went to a science fiction convention and there were thousands of people into the same weird stuff I was.

I just unpacked a carton of old photos and there is one of me in this homemade vampire victim costume sort of wrestling with a friend of mine in a wizard costume. And I look like I'm having fun. I know he and I had a falling out not that long after that though. We had worked together on various extracurriculars and he felt like I worked him too hard. At least then no one could accuse me of doing it for the $$$$$$$$$. I'm just a workaholic and ya don't get paid for after school projects. It wasn't a particularly eruptive or important falling out and I did not realize how many people I would lose contact with after school.

When I got the call that he had died, I felt like it would be weird for me to go to the funeral, but I'd thought I had years and years and years to patch things up there. I've always been discouraged from going to family funerals. My grandfather's funeral, with four hundred people spilling out into the street, when I was in fifth grade, was the only one I had been taken too.

So the scene in Suburbia, where they are not welcome at the funeral . . . because of what they look like, what they dress like, what they represent, what they are, or perhaps some other intangible thing . . . well, it struck a chord with me.

I feel like I've passed through all of these subcultures and I still both do and do not identify with most of them. The things people use to determine friend or foe there just seem so ridiculous to me, as artificial and foolhardy and capricious as deciding your friends by the color of their skin.

The thing I like about Los Angeles overculture is that it admits it is artificial and the things it values tend to be things which are good for you anyway. Get a nice ride. Get a cell phone. Get in shape. Get a good haircut. Get new clothes. Get a nice house. Get off your ass and take that picture, launch that magazine, shoot that movie, go to that audition, etc. I'm already way too good-looking for fandom, but I am fat fat fat for Los Angeles. I am already too successful for punk, but I am not nearly accomplished or successful enough to be more than a blip in Los Angeles.

The thing I don't like about Los Angeles is that I probably know someone who has fucked Elijah Wood, but I probably don't know anyone who loved the books who would be capable of comparing them to the movies with me over coffee. Of course, I live in LA, so I've been working on quitting drinking nonemergency coffee anyway. It is unhealthy and should be avoided, unless it makes me more capable of success.

Oh, and the other thing I don't like is that, at the end of the day, I don't really fit in. I can never completely swallow everything I am supposed to believe anywhere. I never really really fit in any where.

--Amelia G

Hollywood Hills, Cell Phones, & Dental Hygiene

Why is it a rule that I always get called to go to parties in the Hollywood Hills when I've just woken up and am wearing a T-shirt and no pants and I haven't even brushed my teeth yet and I'd need to be ready in five minutes 'cause they're calling from the car and are about to drive past my place. No one in this cell phone infested city can ever come up with a cool plan and tell me about it the day before. Of course, having lived here for a while, I have trouble planning out anything which requires advance scheduling too. Just meeting my trainer at a specified prearranged time is wreaking havoc with my lifestyle. Off to the gym now . . . don't worry, I put pants on.

--Amelia G

Happy Holidays

http://www.livejournal.com/users/forrestblack/ just added a lovely holiday greeting to his LJ, featuring our sexy photography. REALLY NSFW.

hee hee

--Amelia G

whips & curves in Los Angeles

Yay! My brother is coming over to visit now. He is so much more sociable since he bought himself a new BMW SUV for his birthday this month. He was agonizing over that or an Escalade, but I pointed out that he would attract girls with bigger asses than he likes with the Escalade. Those of you who live in Los Angeles know what I'm talking about. Those of you who don't have no need to. Personally, I like curvy girls, but I like to be able to reach the pedals too.

--Amelia G

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I heart The Buzzcocks.

I don't know what to do with my life . . .
(repeat)
(repeat)

Marilyn Manson magazine on ebay, Mature Audiences instructions



This time of year is so weird. I had a few copies of the Marilyn Manson and Marylin Star issue of New Rave which I've auctioned off. That issue, even in imperfect condition, has gone for a bunch, but it has zero bids on it now.

If anyone wants to snap it up super cheap you can go directly to the auction at http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=4811&item=2901184130&rd=1 or view all of my auctions at http://www.blueblood.net/ebay/ With ebay "mature" auctions, you need to log in -- even if you are already logged into ebay -- and then click to accept their mature audiences TOS and then click over a second time to the naughty auction. Gotta protect innocent eyes. This auction is also private, so your bid will not appear where anyone can see it.

--Amelia G

Oh yeah, and I've got some ebay auctions closing in the next day.




--Amelia G

I'm pleased with this update I just did on Gothic Sluts and thought I would share a shot:



Being a photographer sucks except for the making pretty pictures part. When I actually get to look at the finished project -- whether it is a magazine cover or a single image posted to the internet -- and it looks like it looked in my mind's eye and it looks like I want it to look and it looks good . . . well, I sure do like that part. I wish it was just all about that.

--Amelia G

Got to Bar Sinister in time to catch all of Apocalypse Theatre's set. I wish they had played all originals because V. writes such awesome songs, but their show was very well-received. Unfortunately their CDs from Invisible had not arrived yet because of slow ass Xmas mail. A bunch of their new members definitely add some eye candy. I was scared the new fire girl was going to set me and everyone else on fire and it looked like security was concerned about the same thing, but she looked cute doing it. Was annoyed to find yet another person ripping off one of my photographs without credit or compensation. It has been a few years since I sued someone in any particularly dramatic way, but I really think the assholes are playing Russian roulette these days with me. One of them is just going to get caught on the wrong day and I am going to get medieval on them. My dad just recommended a local firm one of his classmates from Harvard is with, so I am keeping my fingers crossed. It is harder to find a good attorney than a good dentist. Wished Apox and everyone safe passage home and headed out early to head over to Kerry's birthday party at Dave Schow's Black Lagoon. Was worried about showing up so late, but happily Maria showed up five minutes after we did. She had to do a reading of her work at the red and black ball on Melrose earlier that night and was wearing this red and black lace dress with a cool black leather corset. It was really cool to get to hang out with a more intimate group at the end and talk about cabbages and kings. Kerry had three birthday cakes, but I only tried the white one. White cake with white chocolate and cream and jam layers and icing. Mostly I nibbled on cheese and cherry tomatoes though. So virtuous. Num, num. Nathan showed us some cool body builder nudie mags and these Japanese magazines which cover this all female theater. I forget the name of it, but women play both male and female roles in it and, let me tell you, if you find K. D. Lang hot, then you will see some cuties here.

--Amelia G

Steve Diet Goedde and I had a discussion about photography at the Retail Slut VIP celebrity shopping night. He said he had intended to be a filmmaker, but that he felt he had really copped out by going the easy short attention span route and doing photography. I told him that I had intended to be a writer. I swear no prodigious quantities of alcohol were involved. Certainly not any Sam Adams Pale Ale.

--Amelia G

Time to get ready to go out for a fab night on the town, filled with fabulous people hugging me delightedly and then hitting me up for something free for them and expensive and time-consuming for me. I can hardly wait. Actually, I was supposed to be out the door two and three quarter hours ago. So I guess I can wait.

I feel so overworked, I swear just picking up a contact sheet and a loupe makes BLOOD SPURT FROM MY EYES. I found a new source I may be able to use for my darkroom work, but I still need to find a new source for inspiration and support and some fucking reminder or why I bother doing any of this.

I can't tell if I have social anxiety or a perfectly valid set of reasons to entirely change what I do for social anything. Unfortunately for me, I believe in Skinnerian conditioning. Thus, so long as I believe it might just be anxiety, I force myself to go.

Q: Would you rather go clubbing or put a nail through your hand?
A: What kind of nail?

--Amelia G

Had breakfast/coffee with friends from out of town. Did multiple shoots. Went to my girl Sabrina's pals' party. Now have to do work before I can watch Trigun and go to sleep. Ought to get some sleep because I have to see my trainer tomorrow.

--Amelia G

Went to Retail Slut's VIP celebrity shopping night tonight. Bought a Hello Kitty shirt. Booked a magazine cover shoot. Went to Goldfingers to see Apocalypse Theatre. First time at Goldfingers and most probably the last. The venue had them put their equipment outside and a $300 piece of equipment got rain damage. I kind of like the rain we are having right now aside from that, however. Went back to Retail Slut with the Apox crew. Sam Adams pale ale is pretty darn tasty. Waiting for Bossa Nova delivery now. I would starve without them.

--Amelia G

One of the things I love most about living in Los Angeles is getting to see bands which are not on tour and bands which would normally play big halls doing club shows. I got to see Love/Hate play last night and I've never seen them play before. I met the new members of Apocalypse Theatre and told Hope that they were the only reason I actually dragged my ass out last night. Which was true. Ran into Barely Evil's Lyric S. Not who is sporting cute pink dreads now. Saw Evelyne from Flesh for Eve who has a show coming up I hope I can make it to. Ran into my girl from Tattoo Savage who reminded my ass to send her some stuff. I was also happy to see Kerri from Dead Girls and TC and Tim and a bunch of other people. After I introduced Hope to the billionth person, she was like you sure know a lot of people for claiming to never go out. Which I guess is true. One of the weirdest things about living in LA is that there is always something going on, so I can go out what would be a lot for another city and have it seem like I am a shut-in for LA because I would still miss so much. Too many things going on this weekend to choose. Gonna try to do them all. Ran into the singer from Kettle Cadavar who gave me a video which he promised me would include footage of his cock. Saw Joey Strange for the first time in a while and he didn't recognize me at first. He said he'd just never seen me outside of fetish events and I was like oh take off the corset and you don't know me. He pointed out that my hair is different as well as what I would wear to a rock show. Which is all true. Although he recognized Forrest out of leather. Joey told me about a performance he's got coming up, but his friend was telling me that he has a chow mix and a labrador mix and I want a dog so bad, so I only processed that he was going to be suspended while wearing a gas mask and listening to a song called "Soldier Boy." Went to an afterparty but only for a little while. An ex of the host had just been bounced before we showed up with the Apox crew, so it was a little weird until he realized they were with us. I get to meet Hope's dog tomorrow. Whoo-hoo!

--Amelia

Why is it that whenever I offer a girl a content trade or $$ for doing a photo shoot, she chooses the dough . . . and then later comes up with a bunch of things she wants to use the pictures for? If they want to use the pictures, why can't they just decide that that is what they want? Grrr.

--Amelia G

Why is going out at night such a chore? I used to live for. I structured my whole life to make it more convenient and now I just don't feel like it. My hair is even blowdried already. But I'm sitting here in a damp towel trying to figure out an excuse not to go out. Only some old friends from DC are in town and e-mailed that they'd like it if I could meet them and I don't have a number for them and I really would like to see them.

I can't tell if it is the internet or Los Angeles or having taken up photography or my own evolution or some combo of the above which makes painting the town red seem like work. I just used to like putting on my cool weirdo clothes and seeing fun bands and hanging out because it was cool. Now everyone I run into is talking about the "industry" I am in and their "career" and how of course the "dream is to get paid for it."

I want to be successful in every sense, but I am so sick of people with cool hair who turn 30 and all of a sudden they start talking about how "classy" they are and making everything cool I do seem like it is stupid if I'm doing it for free or at personal expense.

I want to do cool things because I enjoy them, because they are good for the scene I enjoy, because I want my life to be art. If the dollar is supposed to be some sort of consolation prize for my scene secretly not being cool at all, I wish I had gone to graduate school and become a management consultant.

--Amelia G

Anyone besides me notice that the new Nirvana song does not sound much like Nirvana?

--Amelia G

I've been trying out this LJ thing for a while and I can't figure out whether it is making me more sociable or less. I think the internet in general has allowed me to be in touch with more people, but overall I think it has made everyone including me go out at night less often.

The first time I ever came to Los Angeles was during the heyday of the Sunset Strip. I thought a lot of the guys were rocking overly similar looks and that year a lot of the girls were wearing these skintight neon neoprene outfits that I was not that into, but I still found a few tasty folks to hook up with and had all sorts of adventures. I walked to the Strip from UCLA in my torn up and laced back together jeans and my painstakingly decorated leather jacket and there was a place to go and see and be seen and just hang out. I couldn't afford the $12 cover charges, although I spent one once or twice anyway. But there was still a reason to get dressed up and paint the town red.

Now I am on the guest list all over town, but it just seems easier to dye my hair and jump on the internet looking for human contact without leaving the house. Healthy healthy.

--Amelia G

Well, this is my bedroom when I'm in Vegas . . .



Some place Forrest has a photograph of me asleep fully dressed on that couch with a full iced coffee on the coffee table in front of it. Apparently, coffee only works when you drink it.

More pix of her in our Blue Blood Models Yahoo Group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BlueBlood_Models/

I need to take a trip to Vegas and drink some coffee. Not necessarily in that order.

--Amelia G

This is from the Gothic Sluts update I did earlier:



I am soooooooooo sore right now. Not from doing a site update, from the joys of starting a new workout program after a looooooong time of only working out my mouse hand. I've got one veiny muscular right wrist and thumb. I use a trackball.

--Amelia G

Just did a rocking update to Gothic Sluts featuring Szandora. Very sleepy now . . .

Living in Los Angeles is like watching a strange movie with you in it

So I was watching a comic last week and she was wearing a duster and an attractive midriff-baring sweater top and she looked awfully fine for a comedian. So she tells the crowd that she recently lost 35 pounds. And of course everyone claps. She says that everyone always claps when she says that, but she could tell that, with a Los Angeles audience, everyone in the audience is thinking "keep up the good work."

I just started a new excercise program. I am sooooooooooo sore right now. I got this gigantic blond Russian guy to make me do it right. When I was in college, I used to lift weights pretty regularly. When people asked what sport we were working out for, my friends and I used to say "sex."

Apparently, if you live in Los Angeles for long enough, you end up with a really hot personal trainer with an accent telling you to do two more reps. It is inevitable.

--Amelia G

I've got another bunch of magazines I contributed to over the years and some other stuff for sale on ebay now:

http://www.blueblood.net/ebay/

Forrest Black and I shoot boys too. These two gorgeous individuals were photographed in a now defunct underground club in New Orleans. One dropped me an e-mail when he was supposed to be moving to LA, went back to NOLA for his stuff, and was never heard from again. New Orleans is beautiful and tasty, but scary. Wow, I could go for some beignets right now. Mmmm, and fried oysters.



--Amelia G

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I've got a bunch of magazines I contributed to over the years and some other stuff for sale on ebay now:

http://www.blueblood.net/ebay/

This is the cover shot and poster Forrest Black and I did for Tattoo Savage #33. The poster is a rare shot of Mistress Domiana with her sister. We did some other shots of the cover model with Ben Hoffman, but the magazine said they were too fetishy. Err . . .

More photos of her are available in our Blue Blood Models Yahoo Group at href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BlueBlood_Models/">http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BlueBlood_Models/ or I can post more here if you would like. :-)

--Amelia

I just wanted to say hi. I guess I'm a photographer. Although I've shot for all the big mainstream adult publishing houses, I prefer counterculture subjects, being a weirdo myself. ;-)

Here is a recent picture I shot for one of my sites:



My Blue Blood Models Yahoo Group is at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BlueBlood_Models/

Love, Amelia

Red, red, red, I heart themes. Here is a photo of one of our favorite flame-haired muses:



More photos of her are available in our Blue Blood Models Yahoo Group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BlueBlood_Models/

Love, Amelia

I've got a livejournal account, but a lot of people I know seem to have bloggers either in addition or instead of an LJ, so I'm thinking about using both. Or at least adding my LJ stuff to blogger for the moment. Here I go . . .

--Amelia G